Welcome Brittany 
You’re in the right place 
and you are definitely not alone. Many people here have been in exactly your shoes.
Where you are now is hanging onto a rope, in the water around the ship. The ship is sobriety, and everyone aboard is in recovery. You are not there yet but you are holding tightly onto the rope, and the people you meet in recovery - including people here on Talking Sober and in recovery groups you join - are helping by pulling the rope aboard the ship. As long as you hold on, you can come aboard too.
Have a look around here; you’ll find many helpful threads. Personally I found that recovery groups were very helpful for me. There is a good list of groups (also books and podcasts and other information) here:
You are a good person and you deserve to live a safe, sober life, where you can be fully present with yourself and the people you love. You can do it. I am sure you can.