First day in recovery. I’m a functional alcoholic so people assume the problem isn’t as bad as it is. I’m a nurse so people assume I have my life together. I’m in college and a single Mom and I’m not failing so people think my problem is not that bad. But I had been getting drunk most nights. Blackout drunk at times. Then getting up and going to work or school. I constantly hurt the people closest to me and that isn’t working for me anymore. I needed to get help. I’ve been to doctors and contacted insurance to get into treatment but where I live in WI that isn’t a plausible. Insurance doesn’t cover alcohol addiction unless it’s court ordered. And my treatment locations are hours required multiple nights a week. So I went to AA tonight. I listened to someone’s story and I stayed sober. It’s not my first time getting sober I hope it’s my last.
My story is similar. It’s hard starting over again but I have to hold on to hope it does get better. I know it does from experience but sometimes it’s so hard to believe it. Glad you’re starting your journey again. I’m at 15 days so still pretty fresh into this but these forums do help and there are many wonderful people. Keep it up.
Welcome, Carrie. I’m glad you’re here. I hope to see you around and see your progress!
Welcome Carrie and congrats on your 1st day. This forum and AA have helped me tremendously and I’m sure you’ll have the same awesome experience. I look forward to following your journey.
Welcome! Congrats on day 1 
my functional alcoholism has really tripped me up in the past, I get so many days in and think I can handle it again 
this forum is really helping! Keep goin!
Thank you I appreciate your acceptance. I’m looking forward to 15 days. I got sober 2 years ago then told myself I could handle a drink. That relapse lasted a year. It’s hard to admit it took me a year to get back up again.
Thank you Donna I appreciate you welcoming me. I hope to see you as well.
Thank you Lisa, I appreciate your support and encouragement.
Welcome Carrie 🙋
There are more nurses here with the same problem as you. Hope you will meet them to share your thoughts.
Not a nurse myself but we share our addiction.
Sober for a while now with the help of this app.
I wish you the same!
So be around here often and make this app work! 
Nancy, I can totally relate to that. And every time try to handle just a little I get right back to the point where I am out of control. I really hope I don’t fall for my own rationalization again and can see it for what it is. Hoping AA will help with that part.
Thank you Claudia, I needed to hear that. I hope I can connect with some as times goes on here too. I am so glad I stumbled across this App today. I had no idea that there was social media to help with recovery. I’m so grateful to have it.
Carrie, I just saw this under “mental health memes and discussion”, I really like this! It’s how it finally clicked with me.
Donna, thank you. This is not the first time this idea has been presented to me today. Something tells me God is reiterating to me a change in thinking is what is happening here 
I feel you. I had a year and a half then 4 months ago I got a case of the fuck-its and it’s been hell trying to get back on track. Feels like it’s harder to get clean after having long stretches of sobriety sometimes.
Yeah it was hard to admit today, hard to go to AA, hard not to cry. But I did it and I even found some laughs and some songs along side all that. So I’m grateful. Right now I feel the struggle because I know I made the commitment. So even though I’ve gone a day or two here and there without a drink (because I didn’t have a problem ) one day seems bigger today. One week, my first Goal is one week. I made one day, I can make one more.
I am just the same , I can go all week without alcohol, then the weekend comes around and I tell myself I will just have a couple,So here I am on Day one again, sitting her feeling shity with a hangover, don’t know how to break the cycle , just need to keep trying I guess
Welcome Carrie! It’s lovely to meet you 
please be kind to yourself, I found this advice early on to really help me. Write down all of the feelings you have now, addiction is a sneaky bitch, as you know. And it will drag you back and make you think there was never a problem. I wrote a letter to myself and I was brutally honest. I’m 437 days now and in that time I have only had to read it once. It stopped the craving dead in its tracks and even made me cry. Cor blimey, what a horrible cycle I was stuck in:woman_facepalming:t3:, just like you describe…I’m really glad you’re here with us! I’m from England but I wanted to thank you for all of the work you are doing at the moment in this shitty pandemic! All medical staff deserve a medal in my opinion. 
stick around and welcome to the family my friend
I am on day 1 too @Vessel and this is how I feel on my first day. Stay strong girl. You can do this. We can do this.
Weekends are just another 24 hours. Get your head on your pillow sober, same as a Tuesday.
Hey. Welcome. I’m day 93 no alcohol. Day 6 off pills. Also addict of the functioning type. Somehow it feels if I’ve not hit some sort of “rock bottom” my sobriety is less needed or worthy. This gives me permission to start using again so I go through cycles of sobriety and then using. It’s tricky. I, like you, also work in a role where people need a lot from me and I struggle with the fact that I can’t always give what is needed. I think people who like to help and give end up in professions like nursing, but it is a struggle to accept the limits of what we can achieve to alleviate suffering and give of ourselves, and numbing with alcohol or pills feels like a solution. But over time the quality of our life and relationship gradually deteriorates. Anyway, that’s a bit rambling but I hear you and I’m with ya!