Today the harsh reality hit, I’ve gone and done it again.
Online gambling is my poison of choice, I’ve also dabbled in cocaine for stretches, but the emotional roller coaster of a loss and a win is what gets me going 
I’ve gotten my family into the shit financially… again.
Although my gambling only started 4 months ago, I’ve taken it to the extreme, like with most things in my life. I spent Friday- Sunday evening playing away while my husband slept- right next to him, hiding my (big) little secret, again……
Balancing the finances today, the reality hit of just how screwed we are, again, due to my choices. I’ve said I’d stop, but I keep going back. I’m ashamed and disappointed in myself, and my husband has called it an embarrassment, which hurts most of all.
Today I took the brave step of reaching out and asking for help. I’m getting myself back into therapy, and back into meetings
I can’t afford to break again, it’s shredding my life apart