Day 1, starting all over again

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Starting Day 1 all over again. So difficult and shameful.

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I was there 3 days ago. I understand what you’re feeling. In these first few days I’ve learned writing it out whether on here or paper helps. Stay strong.

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Thank you.

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Difficult but doable. Starting over is brave! Leave the shame behind and just take it one day at a time. You haven’t failed if you haven’t given up. Just do the next right thing.

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You can do this. No ashame involved. Relapse is a huge part af addiction. Learn ur relapse pre cursorers. Relapse acrully starts way before the act of using. U got this!!!

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it’s all part of the journey. We just keep trying until we crack it.

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I agree. Writing things down, even if you throw it all away later, does help. Especially if you have a hard time telling others how you feel. I’m rooting for you and everyone else struggling.

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Have you made it to a meeting yet?

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Morning mate, lol.
I’m not sure what’s going to work in my case. I’m ok with the meetings, sometimes I feel like a poser there though.

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Meetings make it easier to stay sober wish you well

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Me too; I didn’t even waiver… Like no argument in my head etc.
I know aa works because I’ve seen it work but I haven’t “gotten” it completely yet. And it is hard sitting there feeling like I’m a lost cause.
Onward again…

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I know exactly what’s going to happen in your case. We spend all our time searching for the cure externally, looking for reasons and excuses to keep drinking, we blame everything but ourselves. What you need to stop drinking is already inside your heart and your head. One day, and it may not be now but one day your head your heart your concious and subconscious will all agree with each other and you will be surprised at how easy it becomes to quit when every fibre of your soul has had enough. One day you will feel like this, don’t force yourself to do something when you have told yourself you will fail before you start, you will fail. The biggest lie we tell ourselves is we don’t want to do drink or drugs, fuck off, of course we want to do drink and drugs or we wouldn’t. Your eurika day will come along one day, if not and you live to be 96 like my grandad you can sit there smug like he used to and go, It never done me no harm. OR WE DIE?

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Thanks mate, I get it when you put it that way. My head is still straddling the line and is not fully committed.

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Exactly… whatever happens stay with us, you never know something might just click into place when you least expect it. I’ve been struggling the last few days but reading people’s relapse stories makes me more determined than ever cos deep deep down inside I think because you lot have drank so can I but the flip side is I know you regret it and this reminds me to be strong. We all have a purpose on here even if you don’t know it you are still helping others.

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So true! There are lots of things I read but don’t respond to. @anon79808082 glad you’re still here with us. I hope you find what you need to have the life you deserve. Maybe try to hit up a meeting today? But I agree with Paul that it will all click one day. In the meantime don’t give up trying. Hugs :hugs:

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I reset yesterday after 3 days. But I know why I did and is another reason that has been catalogued and will not work on me again. I feel ashamed stupid and weak but I also know that is alcohol whispering away to me trying to encourage me to throw in the towel completely.

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Thanks Cristel; I work til 7 so I will go to the 8:00 afterwards.
I hope I find whatever it is that sticks with me too.
I definitely had half of HALT yesterday so I can learn from that.:kissing_cat:

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