Today is my day 1 and I’m taking any steps I can to stay sober in the future. I went to an in person AA meeting today.
It’s been the first day in the hundreds of attempts to stop drinking I feel like I actually want to give in to the fact I have a serious problem and covering up my emotions with alcohol is not only really hurting me, its coming out and showing when I’ve been blackout drunk.
Praying to make it through day 2 and can keep going. This vicious cycle of shame, flash-backs, anger, guilt, and feeling inadequate is killing me from the inside out.
Praying I find a sober plan for myself and don’t give in.
thanks for listening
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Welcome. I hope you find support here, and I wish you the best on your journey 
Put it into action if you can: make yourself a sober plan!
If you use the search bar above and type in “sober plan” you will find some. I think mine as well 
I made a sober plan for myself to give myself a guideline how to handle my cravings.
Being here on TS daily was one of those things wich was on it. The list was fluid for me. The more I learned up here the bigger the list became. Sober for a long time now, you can do that too! 
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Wishing you the best. Meetings are very helpful. It won’t be Easy but you know outthere there are Friends that understand deeply every feelings you have right now. One day at a Time is the Key. You can’t change the past let It behind you.
Awesome! Congrats on day 1. You can do. This ap really helps with all the support.
Welcome. I can relate to your story. I had reached a place where I had a day one just about every other day, swearing to myself I would never drink again and then falling again. The vicious cycle of shame, regret,drinking to numb the emotions ,blackouts and raging emotions. It’s all very familiar. So you are definitely not alone!
TS is an amazing place to seek and share and learn. I’m totally with the advice you’ve gotten already. Build your sober plan. Stop the shame cycle. It only keeps you stuck. Keep adding tools to your sober toolbox as you go along. For me, the one tool I’d been missing was joining a sober community. TS has made a huge difference in my recovery. It might be that way for you, or you might want an in person community. Do what works for you.
I wish you strength and love.