Day 11, night 12

Sad this morning. Already having the urge to grab a 12pk and drink tonight. Kids are going away for the weekend, not the reason I’m sad, definitely need a break and some me time.

Life is overwhelming with 3 kids, the boyfriend who brought up walking away last night because he is way to stressed living in this situation (I get it family life isn’t easy, kids aren’t easy, especially when none of them are his, unless his daughter is here). House, dog, all the kids school shit. Work, which it’s a relatively easy job, but I’m doing everything I have to do at home, there, so it’s constantly rinse and repeat (home health aid here).

Just gonna have to find some distractions. Which typically would be drinking, listening to loud music while I deal with the household chores.

My goal, at the minimum, is 30 days sober. See where I go after that. Will it last, maybe. I don’t really know right now.

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Let’s make a goal we don’t drink today. That’s all we got to plan for.

I can hear and feel the struggle and hopelessness in your post. Today. Right now. You feel like you’re in a rough patch. I know you’re smart enough to know drinking isn’t going to make anything better. It never has.

That gratitude thread is a powerful tool. Look at those 3 beautiful children you got. Tell us 3 grateful beautiful things about each one of them.

Do you like podcast? Or speaker tapes. There is a AA speakers app. And there’s an Al-Anon speakers app. Go to the App Store. They help me a lot by listening to other people.

Hang in there my new friend.
Great job reaching out. Don’t quit before the miracle happens.

Just for today.
:pray::heart:

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staying sober through the chaos so I can see the beauty rather than get wasted and only recollect the bad.
:pray::heart:

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Well my youngest is a artistic genius, and smarter beyond her 5 years, just an incredibly strong-willed child, she is a force and I love that about her. Middle little is also an artist, caring, smart, empathetic. Creative and helpful. My oldest, he is a history buff anything and everything history, and my biggest helper. Though things are getting difficult with him since he’s almost a teenager. I love the independence in all my children, just not everyone else does. I love all their different personalities, and differences.
How I’ve raised my children is a lot for other people to take on. Maybe I went a bit too free range, but I love that about me and my kids. I’m missing the homeschooling, the freedom we used to have. All the emotions today.

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You’re here, you’re sharing, you’re making this work. One day at a time indeed. if there’s one thing I’m happy about being quit for 2000+ days now it’s that the allure of drinking is 99% gone. The idea that drinking would help me with anything at all has all but disappeared. Drinking doesn’t help me escape. Yes, it made me forget. But it made me forget everything, the good and the bad, And the next day al that was left was a headache, a hangover and an ever deepening depression. Never again and happy it is so. Not having that escape no more is a very small price to pay. BTW, your children sound like a fantastic little group to me. Enjoy them sober! Hugs.

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@StacyAnn how are you today? Sounds like you are going through a lot and I’m happy you have almost 12 days. Even with partner continuing to drink. Which makes it even more challenging but here you are with eleven days :grinning:.

This is my first Thanksgiving in years not starting it hangover and sick. There were a few points during the day I wanted too. But I remembered that nothing is made better by drinking.

Alcohol does not make life better. In fact, it does quite the opposite it takes every thing from you!

Keep going you are so worth it and your kids mostly like sober version of you more too.

You are doing awesome! I hope you get 30 days and will beyond that!!!

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@Von100 thank you for your words, and checking in. Today was better. A lot better. Idk if my kids are ready for sober Mom, lol, but they certainly need it. Definitely have not been on top of things due to my drinking, and that has got to change for so many reasons.

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@StacyAnn glad to hear things were better today for you. I’m a little over sixty days it is easier now then it was first couple weeks. Hanging in there! You are worth it!! I wish the best in your journey. Just keep it simple get to bed sober today and deal with tomorrow when it comes!!

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How are you?

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I am doing okay today.

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That is great news. I’m rooting for you!