I don’t know why because I’ve been doing well and it has felt relatively easy but it’s been hours now that I feel like shit and all I can think about is getting some Kratom. I am having a hard time remembering why it’s so important not to do it “just this once”… just for today. I am trying to distract myself, watch TV, nothing is holding my interest, I’m so sad.
I went to a 2 hour sound healing last night and I wonder if it kicked up some emotions. I know I just have to feel this and get through it. I’m reaching out to people so that I can’t fool myself into thinking I can just cheat a bit today and get back on the horse tomorrow. I don’t want to do that but my god, a part of me REALLY does…
Ugh, I hated those days and cravings. The truth is we need to get thru them, we haven’t quite built up the oomph so we sail thru using our sober toolbox, the truth is we don’t have a ton of tools in our sober toolbox yet. HOWEVER…each time we use a new coping mechanism, each time we feel our emotions of agitation, anger, angst…whatever emotion we are feeling in our body…that is precisely when we start building our sober muscles and adding to our toolbox.
The only way past is through.
Think about how amazing it would be never to feel this way again. That is what awaits you in sobriety and recovery. Not that you won’t have rough moments, you will. But you will be strong, resolute and equipped to deal with life’s moments of reality. Freedom.
Glad you vented here and I hope it reminded you of why you started.You are stronger than you think. Don’t give in. Grow.
Its ok to cry and feel sad, its all part of the process…feel the emotions…ride them out and you will feel better and stronger through them, sending you a huge hug. …remember why your doing this
Your doing really well and should be so proud. Remember this feeling will be fleeting and tomorrow you can wake up and have sucha boost you made it through. It will feel hard but your worth more. All my best wishes
First of all, a huge congratulations on 2 weeks! I remember those kinds of cravings and they are horrible to deal with im so glad u came on here first and posted. Youre statement:
Is your addictive thinking trying to convince u that its okay to slip bcuz u can then just reset ur timer and start over tmrw. Truth is tho, is that as long as we are putting substances into our bodies, those cravings will ALWAYS be there. The only way to reduce those cravings and to get off that crazy merry go round of addiction, is to not pick up the substance in the first place. U will always experience these cravings unless u just keep pushing forward and stay sober. In early recovery, i thought those cravings and triggers would never ever end. But overtime they started to lessen and lessen. Now i dont get cravings. I get the odd thought that pops up but i brush it off and go about my day. Thats it. U can get thru this! I guarentee u will feel sooo much better and stronger knowing that u didnt cave to ur addiction.
Thank you all for your support and replies. I took a shower and I feel a little better. I am thankful that I quit in January 1 because in my mind that’s extra accountability to not reset my timer again. It was touch and go for a bit there and I totally could have caved. I’m not going to even if I have to feel like crap all day. But maybe I won’t. Maybe I’m already feeling a little better.
Omg that voice- that one telling you one day doesn’t matter, one time is fine. Isn’t it strange that we collect our sober days on counters and calendars, we transform them into coins and chips because we earned them like treasures, but our brains can also tell us that just one day won’t mean anything, one day is nothing? I can guarantee you two things: one day is EVERYTHING, and if you make it through this day you are tempted to toss away, you will feel incredible tomorrow. STAY STRONG!
You can do this i have faith in you…think of it this way yes its horrible now but by taking your DOC all youl be doing is feeding your withdrawal and then the whole cycle will start again…this way your giving yourself the chance to get better properly by allowing your body to heal, keep going keep posting here we are all here for you
Sorry you’re feeling like this. Do you have anybody around you face to face you could talk to? Also, pen and paper are a good release. Write down how you felt, write down all the bad things that will happen for that “just one time”
You can and are doing this one day at a time. Chin up soldier, you’ve got this
im so glad u came on here first and posted. Youre statement:
way to go on sticking to ur sobriety. Proud of u!