Fell off the wagon again and ended up totally out of it drunk and took cocaine again, I’m now in a withdrawal state… Feeling very exhausted and regretful that iv put myself into this position and feeling like this again! It usually takes me a couple of days to recover from a binge! I’m too quick to forget the pain!! I haven’t got more than 6 weeks in the last year and a half 10 months prior to that, I just want peace from this and soberity!!! Praying for god will to help me through today 
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I was just looking at how much time I have now, Sober. It dawned on my one day while I was hanging around a bunch of young college kids. We were all surrounding a camp fire. It just hit me like a brick wall man. I had to stop. That was a Saturday night… Sunday, I slept off my hungover state and then Monday, I checked myself into a Rehab. I haven’t looked back since.
When are you going to wake up Darrell? When are you going to realize that you’re pissing your life away? Are you going to wait until it’s too late? Only you and you alone know the answers to these questions.
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Thanks ! Appreciate the reply!
Your right mate, Iv always got away with it or scraped past! Something is looking down on me! I know deep down i can do this I have before! Thanks for the reply
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Hey Darrell,
Glad you’re here. It sounds like you want to get sober, but are having trouble making it stick. Usually when that happens we have to change what we are willing to do to get sober. What do you do now? Meetings? Therapy? What would you be willing to do to get sober? For me, hoping wasn’t enough. Alcohol and cocaine are my drugs of choice too…
Here’s some stuff that worked for me:
-it had to be all or nothing. Like you said, when I got drinking, cocaine wouldn’t be far behind…I made a decision to stop killing myself using drugs and alcohol of any kind…full stop.
-I deleted every connect that I had, and stopped going to any place I used to drink, look for drugs or get high. This was a full paradigm shift. It was a challenge for sure, but well worth it.
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I read and posted on here any time I wasn’t working essentially.
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I had chosen not to begin my path with AA/NA but made the promise to myself that if I ever relapsed I would try them out, That carries true today.
-I wrote a list of every reason I could think of to get sober, and a DETAILED account of my last hangover. Every nauseous, crusty nosed, heart racing detail. I read both of these any time an urge hit…sometimes a few times…
- I read books and memoirs of recovery as much as possible and audibled them as well. Recovery as to become my focus, it wasn’t going to happen by simply hoping it away.
-at first, I let myself binge tv shows, take mid day naps, eat ice cream, take three baths a day…if it was comforting me and it wasn’t drugs or alcohol…I let myself do it.
-I began over time exercising, eating healthfully and rediscovering what I enjoyed.
My life three years after my last binge and hangover is an entirely different world from the one that I lived in before. It took a full and complete paradigm shift.
What can you today today to start the paradigm shift that works for you? Glad to be here sober with you. 
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Hi ElY, Thank you for your wonderful informative reply, I do go to AA but not NA… I know deep down if the alcohol is taken away the rest goes with it, I have been given the same protocol to delete everything and everyone associated with my active lifestyle, I have done that now numbers messengers Facebook Instagram Snapchat, They all have a bad influence on me even the newsfeed on my Facebook, I suppose its the way iv set my Facebook up living the old way that has it the way it is… I have all the support I need at a tap of a call but putting it into action is another thing and I need to snap out of the negative way of thinking and make the move and not look back
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Hey Darrell…these are great steps💛
How’s your AA group? Maybe time to up the number of meetings you’re going to? Stay strong💛
I will I actually just got a sponsor in place so gonna work it the best I can, I’m around 2 years about the rooms and on and off but got a good 10 months one of the times off it, I just can’t drink full stop and it effects everything around me the moment I touch it!! I Hate it! Time to change and give this my all!
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