Did a lot of praying and research on alcoholism. Asked for God to forgive me and take my worries away, that they are too much for me. You see from my binge drinking on Sunday, I made 2 calls that I dont remember one minute of those discussions. One to my daughter for 4:45 minutes and one to my mom and dad for a little over 15 minutes. Seeing those calls on my phone and not remember either discussions scared me terribly and confirmed that I have a problem. I tried to find an AA meeting close by but couldnt plus I was not up to cleaning up and going out last night so I found a couple Big Book apps to turn to and start with last night. I know an app is not the same as going to a meeting so today I’m going to find a meeting and go tonight. I’m still scared, very scared, I hate to fail and I just want to say I do not drink anymore and it be true…that’s not how it works, does it? I am not alone, I can do this, bless you all!!
You won’t fail. Not if you stay focused on the goal.
Keep saying to yourself I don’t drink anymore. Have you heard of affirmations? Use it as an affirmation.
Mine are " I will be sober today" and “I don’t drink”
I am living what I would consider a happy life free of the worry of my addiction. I will never be free of the addiction. But I no longer spend my days fighting it.
Get yourself a copy of the Big Book. Amazon have them. Read it, cover to cover then back again. Take in what it says. There will be words that resonate with you now. And there will be other words you won’t identify with, but you may one day.
We don’t stay the same, as in anything we do, every new thing we learn, we change.
Don’t worry too much about what has gone. Accept where you are today and move forward one day at a time.
Thank you for your wise words and for sharing them with me.