That’s called playing your tape to the end and it’s so important to be able to do that! Realising that alcohol is actually something that causes discomfort. Have you heard of a book called This Naked Mind? It might be worth checking out.
There is an FAQs thread which has links to lots of useful threads, or you can use the search bar 
if you want to find out about something particular. Read, read and read some more, knowing there are other people going through the same thing can be a great comfort. Keep checking in and reach out whenever you need to!
Sounds like you’ve got a lot going on, being sober will be a helpful step in being able to deal with it all. I hope the separation works out for the best, whatever that looks like.
