Well I managed to get through yesterday thanks to amazing messages and advice on here. Have just been out for a lunch - v nice sea food place by beach - mineral water was ordered - everything fine but most of the time as I sat opposite my lovely husband I fantasised about wine. Thoughts clouding my mind. I thought if you get to 100 days then … so why is that happening - yesterday - I was giving up for life - now I am playing with other deadlines - maybe I just tired - dreadful sleep - home now and fine. I think it was too much - the restaurant and everything … till tomorrow
Well, a couple of things pop out at me…
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Don’t worry about maybe 100 days in or forever…keep your focus on today…not drinking today. Do this every day.
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Day 2 I was still hiding out at home. Sometimes we need to really build up some sober muscles before we head out to familiar things, like seafood lunches with the husband where we used to drink. Baby your sobriety a little more. It might help you a bit. At least til you get past the hump.
And congrats on your day 2!
Maybe it was too soon. Day 2 is hard. My day 2 was my birthday. Ugh.
But ultimately you need to do two things.
One, learn to live one day at a time. There is no point in thinking about forever or even 100 days. The only day we have is today. And when tomorrow becomes today then focus on that day. And do that over and over and over.
Two, stop romanticizing alcohol/wine. Sadly society has done this far too much. Relax after a long day with a glass of wine. Celebrate our successes with a glass of wine. Laugh with our friends over a glass of wine. Heck, invite your mommy friends over for a play date and have some wine!! Read as much as you can about the realities of what alcohol is and what it does to us. Alcohol is poison. Why society puts so much emphasis on alcohol is beyond me. All those activities above can be enjoyed just as much with a cup of tea!!!
I don’t know if it will work…I’ll try to link another post here. If the link doesn’t work it was titled “Alcohol is a poison that no one should injest” and you can find it using the search feature.
https://talkingsober.com/t/alcohol-is-a-poison-that-no-one-should-ingest/911
Yeah am keeping a nice low profile for weekend - game of thrones - some chocolate - plus had amazon deliver me a good book ‘the sober diaries’ deep breaths etc no going out
Thanks will check out link - hope
You having positive day
That IS a good book! Enjoy!!
Avoid any places you used to do your habit at. At least for 2 years, even if you love the place. And even after two years you shouldn’t go back more than two or three times a year.
This would be hard to follow since I liked drinking at home.
I realize everyone is different, but your suggestion does not work for me.
Well. You made it through and you learned, contemplated, and posted.
Id call that a win! Should only help you handle things better from here on out.
I send you my support.
Thanks very much !
Congrats on getting through day two!! I think I was still going crazy on day two. LOL
Follow your instinct not your habit and addiction.
If I feel consumed or clouded by thoughts of drinking I do what I can to get out of where I am at. It changed for me all the time though. I was a big at home weekend warrior. Friday and Saturday were my nights. There were nights I got home from work and would tell my husband we HAD to go out for dinner. Then there were Friday nights when I would come home and I would lock myself in my house until Monday.
The longer I have been sober the easier it has been for me to recognize when I got “that feeling”. It’s been easier for me to say no and change my surroundings until I am comfortable.
Thanks for your reply - means so much / this forum is great - it is so powerful knowing I am not really alone
You’re welcome.
I feel the same way about the forum! I am on here all the time. I might not ways have enough time to post or reply but I’m still here about 5,684 times a day just reading and soaking it all in.
I found the search feature to be really helpful for me. I have a wedding to attend tomorrow and I searched “wedding” yesterday on here and just read tons and tons and tons.
Everyone is so nice and supportive. I love it!
I LOVE the sober diaries… I’ve just finished it in two days! Well done on day 2 x
I hope and pray you are able to enjoy the wedding as best you can - x
They’ve all said it really. Yes it was a bit dangerous. I didn’t go anywhere for a couple of weeks, and when I did it was only to the pub for a couple of funeral wakes. Missed out Christmas completely!
If you find yourself romanticising alcohol, say to yourself, “I don’t drink!”
If you say it that often you will believe it.
One day at a time!
Will do boss ! thanks - yes no more going out to danger zones
Maybe try a meeting wish you well
Not too keen must say but perhaps … having an okay day - hope u r too
Thanks so much - day 3 - Saturday in garden reading - feels a little odd and wine witch is popping up but am ok I think