I have allowed my emotions to consume me. I was behaving like a lunatic in the street.
Financially been pretty stressed. Didn’t have enough money for my meds, but had enough money to get the cheapest, nasiest 500ml 4 pack of beers, which led me to stealing (which I never, ever do) more alcohol from various bottle shops.
I woke up the next day in my own bed, seemingly okay, missing only my servo sunglasses.
I hadn’t had my meds for 5 days. I was in a panic, hungry, emotional, and during that I’ve said and done things over the last few days and weeks that isn’t normal or acceptable.
I am hoping to stay off alcohol indefinitely but it’s something I have always struggled with. Its on every corner where I live. I have been using it as a tool to express my fierce emotions because I don’t enjoy the feeling when I am sober.
Hm. Sorry about your crazy night. It sure sounds like things are progressing for you. I remember that: never ever doing sth, until you do. It’s a scary thing.
Tbh you don’t sound overly motivated. Maybe you’re lacking direction? Or you just can’t imagine not drinking? You say you don’t enjoy the feeling of being sober but hope to stay so. That doesn’t sound very likely to me.
You also say you’re on meds - how are those working out for you coupled with drink?
To be fair, when I got sober I also didn’t know if I enjoyed the feeling of not being drunk, because I always was drunk. But I knew I needed to end everything that drinking caused in my life, all the chaos. Over the years I’ve found out so many more secret at the time consequences of my drinking that I could then address in sobriety. So sobriety has really continued to give to me and still does. I know that this can happen for you as well.
What are you willing to do to stay sober? What is your plan?
Here a some things that helped everyone else on this forum stay sober:
Welcome to the forum Rob. Me too liked the feeling of the alcohol running through my veins. It took away everything from me since I couldn’t feel shit. Without I do, not always nice but at least feeling gives me the insights to set my boundaries straight in all areas of my live. Some though love is related to you nickname, my suggestion would be to change it in a more positive one . Btw though love is what helped me the most to stop the bullshit. If you read on here you will find lots of it. Not always nice the hear in early sobriety, but oh do truth
It’s a long story my bro that I have told on here a few times on my other account… This time im just gonna try and focus on work and skateboarding, maybe some music. But music and alcohol are dangerous mix for me. I get legit crazy.
. Btw though love is what helped me the most to stop the bullshit. If you read on here you will find lots of it. Not always nice the hear in early sobriety, but oh do truth 
