Hm. Sorry about your crazy night. It sure sounds like things are progressing for you. I remember that: never ever doing sth, until you do. It’s a scary thing.
Tbh you don’t sound overly motivated. Maybe you’re lacking direction? Or you just can’t imagine not drinking? You say you don’t enjoy the feeling of being sober but hope to stay so. That doesn’t sound very likely to me.
You also say you’re on meds - how are those working out for you coupled with drink?
To be fair, when I got sober I also didn’t know if I enjoyed the feeling of not being drunk, because I always was drunk. But I knew I needed to end everything that drinking caused in my life, all the chaos. Over the years I’ve found out so many more secret at the time consequences of my drinking that I could then address in sobriety. So sobriety has really continued to give to me and still does. I know that this can happen for you as well.
What are you willing to do to stay sober? What is your plan?
Here a some things that helped everyone else on this forum stay sober: