I am not sure how this is all started. From my teens into my forties, I was never drinking every day. I would drink maybe once or twice a year. But whenever I did drink, it was all out.
Something changed in my life. I met someone who drank every day to “take the edge off.” I went jumping right down the rabbit hole with her. 7 years later, this past Friday night, I went off the deep end with drinking. I was by myself, thankfully. I didnt drunk text or use social media. But I definitely went down some dark spaces in my own head. I know why I drink. I get that part. But I know that is not what I want to do anymore. So on day one of sober, I took the time to buy a sprite. To walk outside. To take pictures of flowers. I have been trying to get sober for a bit now. I have my sober clock. I even made it 7 days once. But this time I know its real for me to stop. I found an AA meeting. I am writing about it now. I know if I dont talk about it, it wont get better. I know I have to keep trying and do the best I can on this given day. Today I wont drink. Today, I know I am strong enough to not drink. I have a lot of reasons to be sober. I need to be healthy again. I need to put order in my life again. Because when I drink, I ignore the things in life that need to be done. I dont want to do that anymore. This disease has taken away 7 years of my life. So that said, I dont want to give it one day more. Anyway, thats where I am at. So instead of focusing on negative things. I am going to focus on positive changes. Sobriety is step one.
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Good positive action/activity will go a long way in the journey. Keep trudging that road to your happy destiny, the joy is in the journey, not the destination.