Day 20, rediscovering myself

So it’s day 20 for me and I’m learning how to be myself without relying on alcohol. Since I was a kid I’ve always known to be very shy or more of an introvert, honestly pretty awkward. I didn’t have many friends as a kid. I was never very outgoing but once I felt comfortable enough around someone, like a close friend, It was a whole different side. I wasn’t so quiet, I was pretty fun and goofy, talkative.

This is just one of many things I reflect on now that I’m sober. I’m rediscovering that girl, that introvert. Since I was a teenager, when I began using drugs and alcohol, I used it as a way to relax, to feel confident, that liquid courage to just not care of what people would think and was not so much of an introvert.

Up until now I’ve been known to be that bubbly, not shy extrovert that can be put in any situation and make friends by the dozen, but I always had at least a drink or two in me before any social gathering. I would definitely leave the house with at least downing one glass of wine. Yesterday was the first social outing with coworkers since the pandemic started, and also me being sober in a social setting with not very many close friends. I had the worst anxiety, I was that girl once again. I made minimal small talk and mostly kept to myself and my two boys. This was a identity crisis sort of feeling because I saw my true self once again that I hadn’t seen in over a decade.

So that is what I am currently struggling with, one of many things. I’m trying not to say I hate that side of myself because that’s who I am and I’m learning self-love. I need to accept who I really am without the booze. It is like a breath of fresh air but it’s also very scary. I have been hiding and keeping my true self from myself and others. I’m just meeting her again, so will everyone else.

Anyone else gone through this?

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Yes I did. I was much like you, even at 259 days sober I still have issues and self sabotaging. Some days I know to accept who I am. Other days I wish I was more talkative and confident. But at the end of the day I know I’m introverted, I’ve gone to a few gathers and it was hard at first but after it I felt more confident for the next gathering. Always remember it is ok to not have anything to say, to not be talkative. The confidence will come again. It’s gonna take a while for are minds and body to heal. So good job, and congrats on day 20

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Welcome to TS and congrats on day 20! I have absolutely experienced that too.

Learning to live without the crutch of alcohol is different, very different. We don’t have it to rely on when times get tough and you have to actually spend time with yourself.

Like you said, I’ve found it to be a huge breath of fresh air. There’s no more pressure to drink and it’s much easier to relax and enjoy everything when you aren’t focused on drinking. I’ve learned it’s also important to do a lot of self-care. I’ve been trying to read a lot more, excercise and let myself relax.

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Thank you, I don’t have too many people to talk to, let alone understand what I’m feeling. With the holidays coming up, and more gatherings, Im looking forward to meeting the old me again, being fully present, and not worry what others may think. But I know it’s not going to be easy. Thanks again!

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Oh! AND CONGRATS ON 259 DAYS!

Thank you! It’s a relief I’m not alone in this.

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