Definitely proud I’ve made it today 3 but it’s definitely the hardest day so far. The guilt and anxiety is turning into anger and self hate.
I let a friend down who I’m working for as I slept right through my alarms and everything. I slept straight without waking up for nearly 12 hours and even when I did wake up I was groggy and had no energy. I think that is the longest sleep I’ve had in months as mostly when I was drinking I was just drinking passing out and waking up again and passing out again getting drunk.
I’ve kept myself busy doing the cleaning around the house and doing everyone’s washing. Hoping the day gets easier as it goes on.
Good on you for reaching Day3 (me too).
I have been doing the same, just getting in with jobs around the house and cooking.
Trying to keep busy then in the evenings I can look forward to what I cooked and watch a series.
Proud of you
My fears ended up coming to fruition, when I eventually spoke to my friend to apologise and explain why I slept so long and didn’t go into work like I had promised, his response was he was “disgusted but not surprised”.
I couldn’t find the words to explain that this time it wasn’t because I was drinking the night before or that I had purposely ignored his calls because I wanted to drink at 9am either.
The guilt and shame has just brought up even more anxiety and it really is bringing me down. I am determined that this time it is for real and I really am going to say sober and I guess in time it will get easier to explain and people will understand more.
I’ve started going through scenarios and remembering things I’ve done while I was drunk and the horrible anxious feeling just keeps growing and I feel like I’m on edge. I am supposed to work tomorrow but it’s physical work and I’m still going through some withdrawal symptoms and I don’t want to go and then have to back out mid day because they will only create more problems and I don’t want to cause any more or feel any more horrible than I am right now.
Hey take it easy on yourself, being anxious about what you did in past or a night before will not change your current situation. Take your time, your body and mind needs some rest. It’s okay sometimes even friends have trouble understanding such things, just rest a bit more, eat some healthy food to help your body recover and then just gather your strength to stay sober for as long as you can to avoid such situations in the future. Maybe a little break from work could help too if you have a chance to take it. You’ll feel better soon once your body heals a bit and anxiety will pass too.
Dont get disheartened…accept that people will be like that for a while…the reality is that you have let him down but you are changing that now…in my own experience it took a good while for people to come around but they did…eventually once people see the changes in you and that your turning things around that disgust will turn into people being proud of you. Patience for now my friend…concentrate on you and keep doing one day at a time keeping your sobriety your top priority- the rest can wait for now
