To be honest, I didn’t expect there to be such noticable changes just upon 3 days of quitting porn and masturbation. Suddenly, I had more energy and time. It really just puts into perspective how mant hours are wasted in a day just for that dopamine rush. I had also noticed quite a significant mood decline. In particular, I catch myself being very easily discouraged, blaming myself for little mistakes and thinking that I’m not good enough in everything I do. I guess this could be the withdrawal symptoms from suddenly reducing my dopamine baselines. Emotionally, I feel like I rely so much on the fictiounous plot in pornography to give me comfort and a sense of belonging. Nonetheless, I’m trying to replace this absence of porn and masturbation with work, meditation and journalling my progress on this app, I guess.
On that note, how do you guys deal with the initial withdrawal symptoms? Would really like to hear your experiences
It takes time. For me the early months were hard, lots of ups and downs. (It’s different for everyone though, that’s just me.) For most people withdrawing from porn / masturbation / sex / love addictions, it takes quite some time.
The clarity is really nice though. Especially in the early days it feels great just to have that difference, that clarity of understanding. Now is a good time to engage in some structured thinking about your addiction. The book Facing the Shadow, by Patrick Carnes, is a really good step by step guide through it (though there are others as well). That book has a good overview of withdrawal symptoms:
You may find it helpful to get out of the house, take walks. In my early days I tried to stay out of the house - or at least, not alone - as much as possible, because it was when I was alone at home that I acted out.
I compare my withdrawal experience to what it must’ve been like to sail across the ocean before there were maps. Knowing the general direction you have to go, but not knowing how long it’ll take and not knowing how to sail a boat.
I’ve never sailed before, but it looks like hard work. And there’s all that time looking at nothing but ocean all around. When a storm hits, all you can really do is bear down. I imagine the difference in sailing for adventure is different than what I experienced. There’s excitement and anticipation in that.
During withdrawal I felt boredom. Loneliness. Emptiness. Sadness. Shame. Anger. Not knowing where I would end up. Not knowing if this would even work. That all brought lots of fear.
I did what you’re doing… Kept myself busy, and worked on myself, which mostly kept me busy. When I got tired of working on myself, I took on new hobbies.
I also went to meetings every day. Hearing others’ experiences helped. The part I liked least, meeting people, helped too. I wasn’t isolated, and I got the support I needed from people who understand what I’m going through. It was amazing how hopeless I felt when I thought nobody would understand or I would be judged. I did virtual meetings because there were very few face to face in my area at the time. They were like my ship’s crew.
I also got a sponsor who was my guide, which made sense considering I didn’t know how to get there. It also helped me be accountable to someone. The accountability ensured I didn’t stray off course.
It took awhile, and there were countless times I almost jumped ship, but the boat reached shore.
