Today I feel a little bit less rough after coming down from a full weekend bender . I’m so tired though and I feel like I can’t stop eating .
I have spoken with my mum today and expressed my concerns around alcohol and where it leads and my destructive behaviour when I used it . She has showed full support around me getting sober and that felt good .
I’m still wrestling with who I’m cutting off that I associate with alcohol and drugs as that’s a lot of our social circle .
My best friend is being very supportive which is a relief and she agreed that we can do sober dates when we see each other .
I’m weirdly worried about being judged by these associates even though most aren’t even a big part of my life and I only see them in bars or in those situations anyway
So doI bite the bullet and delete numbers or block them ect or leave it for now ?
I recently came across a post from a musician who said “The only thing that matters is maintaining your sobriety”.
I don’t feel like I have any authority to speak on the subject since I am starting over again for the umpteenth time, but if some extra food and rest are what it takes to keep a person off the drink it’s probably worth it!
My last day drinking was over 1700 calories worth of alcohol. And extra comfort pizza is still fewer calories than the alcohol I was consuming.
Perhaps try calculating how many calories alcohol added and see if your extra food is worth it?
I appreciate that , I do know the answer but I suppose yes I was looking for some reassurance or something along those lines .
I think I associate a lot of my drinking and drug taking to wanting to be liked by others even when most of the time it just ends in my being taken advantage of and the attention isn’t really friendship which is sad really and I already have the good quality people in my life already .
I’ve thought of it this way. At this moment in time if the but of extra treats makes me happy and helps with cravings ect the it’s worth it .
It can’t be doing more damage than I was doing with the coke I was shoving up my nose and the bottles of vodka I was drinking and strangers i was following to house parties with no thought for myself or safety ….il have the pizza
Would you ever consider therapy? It sounds like you have some work to do on yourself, if you don’t mind my saying? If you say you want other people to like you, it means you seek others approval. Of course people want to feel liked, but it needs to be for who you are, not the drunk or drugged up version of you. Self love and self acceptance needs to exist in order to form and maintain healthy friendships and relationships.
Sobriety can be something of a filtering process when it comes to friendships and relationships. You start to see through the veil - who only sees you as a drinking / drugs buddy, and who truly cares for you. Sober life helps us live with intention, which is the best way of ensuring you surround yourself with people that care for you, and want to see you shine. I don’t think there’s any need for a grand announcement with old associates, I’d just phase them out. That bit is up to you
Hi thanks you for the support , I’m finding this group very helpful to talk openly about things
I have considered therapy before a while ago , it’s always something I think about . I do have quite a lot of things from my past which would probably be good to unpack with a professional lol.
Im absolutely a work progress, it’s only early days and financially not really in a position to pay for it till my money adds back up .
Thank you so much for the input . It’s nice to know theres a community of people going through it together
I’m thrilled to hear that your best friend is supporting you, as you’ll definitely need it! Instead of abruptly cutting off everything and everyone, I’m not sure about your using schedule, but mine was Friday and Saturday were my prime times for coke and alcohol. So, instead of eliminating alcohol and coke simultaneously, I stopped drinking vodka club sodas like water, which made me crave coke. I then replaced it with beer, which I can control my drinking. Instead of going out every weekend, I decided to limit my outings to either Friday or Saturday, and then every other weekend. Also, with the people I used to do coke with, I was honest with them and told them I have a problem. I would really appreciate it if they didn’t offer me drugs if I asked for it. The response will surprise you; people are very supportive. I hope this helps!
@Puddingface33 if your friend is drinking and driving in the middle of nowhere and gets pulled over, would you want to be in the car.
I was told over and over to just ditch my old friends. Me being not sober at all didnt know exactly what that ment till i got sober for a bit.
My best friend died from a od.
The only reason why i wasnt with him was because i was fighting tooth and nail for sobriety. Would that have been my end too?
If that was happening at my 1065 days no alcohol or hard drugs and 574 days no form of weed, while in the same living situation (rooming house with nothing to lose)(i cant have a drug addict with my boy snd wife where i am now adays) and i knew it was happening id go and try to get him. I would walk in that house, and all is say would be, you comming with me, you living with me and i would have gotten his ass sober. He would have came i know it. And we would have gotten clean together.
Cant go back in time though
I like to think the big guy is at peace no matter what
Its really ironic though, i could only save him when i got healthy, at that time i was not. I would have died too. Its like i was 4 years late. I would have been 10 years early if i got sober my first AA meeting.
Lastly a tip
My wife didnt get me sober
My best friend oding didnt get me sober
The birth of my boy didnt get me sober
No special dates or time of days.
The only thing that saved me from that last hit to OD was stopping when i did or id be gone no doubt
Heavy stuff here but i hope this helps
You too @Brownsuga22
Getting blackout drunk and telling jokes are fun
Until all the jokes have been told, then all that remainds of the party is a blackout, you
that’s some powerful stuff. It you’re right. I know that It’s harsh to just cut people out of you’re life and it might not be forever but at the moment I know what I’m like for asking and persuading people to join in to make it more acceptable for myself to be doing it.
At the moment I think it’s very unwise for me to be around the situations more as I don’t trust myself to be able to say no yet . I can say no to coke when I’m sober but it takes literally one sip of a drink and then it would be a justified in my head .
Thank you for being so open with me , this group had made me feel so supported already .
Okay so this is freaky. I am exactly in the same position as you!
Day three sober, after a weekend bender. Luckily (or unluckily) my hangovers only take a day, but i remember feeling physically sick on Monday. I’m not talking about the kind of sick you get when you have the flu or a headache or some other physical symptom. I mean I felt like I have a sickness, that is killing me slowly. I think that feeling i something I will take with me during this millionth try of sobriety.
I reeeeaally wish the both of us can get through this, and it was nice to read your post. Gave me comfort.
I send you all the love for you in this journey, you can do it!
It’s good to see you on your sober journey again have some tools ready just in case the urge bites, and read lots here. I love the What’s YOUR plan? post for support in the early days and beyond.
My goodness.. when you mentioned that sickly feeling the day after drinking I FELT IT. It’s such a horrible memory It’s like a mental scar, and I pray it never leaves me. Use your memory of that morning to your advantage x
Hey guys , thank you all so much for the continued support it’s great to see the good in people reaching out to hold each other up
I’m feeling more positive today , I’ve been pretty productive and been chatting with my family ect .
the flash backs of this last bender are killing me , I’m cringing every 2 mins and the constant tired and achy feeling is really crappy but I feel good about my journey today and I hope you guys do too. It just shows that yesterday it felt like a mountain and today it feels smaller. Love that quote ….this too shall pass
In early sobriety i would look for reasons that stick out why drinking would be bad. Or reasons why i shouldnt have drank but i did. As a past tense thing
“Its a good thing i didnt drink because of this reason”
Or
“I wish i didnt drink because of this reason”
They would pop up all they time
Now they are the only things i see
First I’ll say that the beginning of being sober is rough, but it does get easier. When I was 2 months sober and taking my program seriously I decided I had to move out of my dad’s where I was living because he’s a big drinker and the constant alcohol in the house was very hard for me to be around. Alcohol was my drug of choice. Like I am a textbook alcoholic. Anyway I moved into a recovery house and made a lot of AA meetings so I was surrounded by like minded people which helped tremendously. Being around people who understand you when it comes to substance abuse is something I highly recommend. The normal population doesn’t really fully understand it. “Oh you can have one drink right? Just do it in moderation!” Well some of us can’t. I know I can’t. Be honest with yourself always and pick your people carefully especially in the beginning. The stronger foundation you build the easier it will be. I’m almost at a year and a half now and being around alcohol doesn’t really bother me anymore, but I’m always still mindful of my own feelings and honest with myself with my reason for going somewhere that has alcohol. Hope you’re doing well and hope this helps in any kind of way
Thank you yes the longest I’ve gone without a drink or anything in years in about 2 weeks i think so im just taking it steady x
This weekend is going to be a challenge , just because it’s the weekend and even at my most mild I would have wine at home and if a user friend would text me there pretty much no stopping me . So I’ve made a plan to go to my mums for the day Tomorrow . Phones going on do not disturb tonight , I’ve got movies and snacks and then Sundays usually a safer day as I spend Sundays with my partner who’s not a big drinker at all so that won’t be a problem .
I feel like always having a plan to keep me out of those scenarios for now is the way forward
Yeah I know what you mean. Weekends were really tough for me for a while. I honestly feared them to a degree. I value and love them so much again now though especially having a Monday to Friday job. I agree though. Take it easy for now and take small steps. If to feel a strong craving talk about it with someone who supports you or understands you. It helps so much. The path forward is there and you’re on it right now
I would give people a chance first and see how they show up and support you. If they are a trigger, absolutely stay away from people or places that are a trigger. If you just see them at the bar and you stop going to the bar, they most likely will stop reaching out eventually. Blocking seems harsh in my opinion, but do what’s best for you!
Have friends stopped calling or inviting me to do drinking activities…yes. Does it hurt to not be included, absolutely. I am still fun sober! Do I still care about them, 100%!
I recently had some girlfriends reach out to get together that I used to drink with a lot. One of them was with me the night I got my DUI. I don’t see them much anymore but if I do, I control the environment, meaning, I am available for lunch during my break at work or an activity that doesn’t involve drinking. This go around when they invited me out I declined but told them it was great hearing from them.
Again do what’s best for you, but some people that I never thought would support me are my biggest supporters and some that I thought would I never hear from so idk, people can surprise us at times. In the end, the ones that matter will stick by you and the ones that don’t will just try and bring you down. Those are the ones you will want to let go of.
Welcome and congrats on taking the steps to getting sober!
, congrats on your sober days BTW 
It’s like a mental scar, and I pray it never leaves me. Use your memory of that morning to your advantage x
it’s great to see the good in people reaching out to hold each other up
