I’ve been on day three many times, relapsed countless times. I’m a binge drinker and this is typically when I’d resume drinking, after the last binge. But, I’m tired. I’m tired of disappointing my family, I’m tired of mid-week hangovers, I’m tired of the regret, shamefullness, being a failure, weight gain, bloating, puffy face, restless sleep, moodyness. I’m tired of my alcoholic friends that bring me down. I’m tired of rehashing the alcoholic, codependency, abusive relationship I had with my ex who killed himself by way of ALCOHOLISM. He 49 when he passed in 2013. I turned 49 last month. I don’t want to die, I’m DONE.
These are just a few things. And this post is a reminder to myself of my “Why” for today. If you’d like to add things to my list, please do. I am sorry my list is all negative, I hope to make a new list of positives after more sobriety.
I honestly dont think ur list is “negative”. This is the reality of addiction/alcoholism. In fact my list in the beginning was very much like urs. I wrote my list right after my last use and it was very real and very raw. Bcuz like u i was a chronic relapser and at about day 3, id start to “forget” how bad it was. Thinking i had control or how it will be different this time. Its not. Those thoughts are all lies. I needed that list to be harsh tho so that it woke me up and reminded me of how truly awful and destructive using is. Over time ive made my positive list. I took the negatives and reframed them to show how great recovery is! For example: im tired of being broke turns into… I have saved this much money by not using. You get the idea but its not a bad thing to have ur list be “negative” bcuz its a great reminder for how awful addiction/alcoholism is.
After a couple of days on Naltrexone and feeling a little foggy and out of it I switched to taking at nite and didnt notice any side effects from then on. I swear by it, never stayed sober for more than 3 weeks prior and closing in on 5 months.
I read it’s also used as a diet pill. Therefore, if i take it late I can’t sleep. Psychosomatic possibly, I’m not sure. I’m not having much luck with it. But I’m going to keep pushing along.
I took it in the mornings for about a month. It really os one day at a time. I love the multiple sobriety communities I belong to and love being free of alcohol. You deserve this better life. Alcohol will eventually kill you, but unfortunately that’s not near as bad as all the pain and destruction leading up to a painful death.
but its not a bad thing to have ur list be “negative” bcuz its a great reminder for how awful addiction/alcoholism is.