Day 3 - Why is This Time So Different?

Hello all! Today is the start of day 3 and I’m feeling really great…and I can’t figure out exactly why. Don’t get me wrong, I’m thrilled! But why is this time so different? When I was 35 days sober, the first week was awful. Not really in terms of withdrawals, but the cravings were so powerful. I had to muster every ounce of willpower, intorspection and use every tool at my disposal to keep myself on track. This time, I have no desire to drink and even the thought of being alcohol free for life is…EXCITING. WHAT?!? This has never happened before. Being alcohol free forever was always a looming dread, but now it feels like that’s exactly what I want. Even at my 30 day mark, in the back of my head I was trying to convince myself that one day I can drink again and it’ll be different. I just don’t have that same mindset this time.

Still, I recognize that those cravings could pop up at any time, unexpectedly, and a sustainable plan is crucial. Relapse is only one drink away and I still have so much inner work to do. I guess I’m just not afraid of relapse today. Something has clicked in my mind and all I can do is enjoy today for being a great day and focus on my goals.

Thank you @SassyRocks for recommending ‘This Naked Mind’ by Annie Grace. I’ve been listening to the audiobook since yesterday and it really hits home for me. I’m a very logical person and she does a great job stripping away the emotional ties we generally hold for alcohol. I’ve been mulling around some of those same ideas in my head for years and it feels really good to have those ideas validated and eloquently laid out.

About a year ago, I realized I actually hate being drunk but I couldn’t stop chasing that initial buzz, which fades so fast. Then, before I knew it, I was drunk, slow and messy- not at all what I wanted to be. Over time my tolerance increased and so did my intake. Now, I don’t really get a buzz. Just a steep descent into drunk- the part I hate. Even on days I didn’t want to drink at all, I found myself at the bottom of a bottle (or 2). Either way, trying to chase that initial feeling just isn’t worth my health, time, mental stability, relationships and success. For now, today is a great day and I am proud of myself.

Stay strong, lovlies. :muscle::green_heart:

17 Likes

It is great when it feels like something clicks. Glad that the book is resonating! :heart:

1 Like

I can relate! Congrats on 3 days. I’m at a week and it definitely isn’t the first time I’ve tried to give up drinking. But this time does feel different too. I’ve been reflecting a lot on how many times alcohol ruined my life. Now I’m determined not to do that again. Keep it up!

4 Likes

Congrats on your week! So proud of you! I’m glad we’re here together and I’ve been doing the same thing. When I really think about it, I can’t really come up with any substantial positives alcohol has contributed to my life…but you better believe the list of negatives is extensive!! :grimacing: Keep up the good work and I hope to see you around. :green_heart::blush:

1 Like

Thank you! You too, we can do this :slightly_smiling_face:

1 Like

@YesNoMaybe congrats on 3 days sober. I can totally relate to your story. Like you I was drinking on days I didn’t want a drink to get a buzz that never came. I’m on day 37 and although I haven’t had an urge to physically drink I have wanted the feeling of the buzz.
I also feel that something has clicked for me. Other times I tried to get sober I concentrated on not drinking only, I did nothing else to support
that.
This time I started doing things differently, a few weeks before I quit I ordered some quit-lit online, I started listening to sober podcasts, immersed myself in my hobbies, had some very honest conversations with the people closest to me. I make a pledge to myself every morning “I’m not going to drink today”, I journal about my day in the evening, I follow sober tiktokers and obviously join in on conversations here :blush: I’ve also started therapy to help me with the emotional baggage I’ve been ignoring while hiding at the bottom of a wine bottle for the last 10+ years. I really need it to work this time.
The support on here is incredible.

2 Likes

Congratulations!! It’s an amazing feeling knowing that you actually want sobriety this time, rather than forcing it. I’m experiencing it for the first time myself. One day at a time and you’ll be living your very best life :heartpulse:

2 Likes

Congrats on the 37 days! What a huge accomplishment, I’m so proud of you! And yes, I am in a very similar boat. When I hit 35 days before the only thing I did was privately journal, eat better and exercise. While that made a huge impact in getting me that far, as soon as ONE major issue came up, I flipped and dug right back into my hole all the way up until now. That was 2 years ago. This time, I decided to join online communities, confided in my best friend, I just finished This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (and I have more quit-lit lined up), I’m watching my caffeine and nicotine intake, and, most importantly, I’m taking steps to practice better stress management. I really feel like I’m on an excellent path to start this journey and it sounds like you are too. Keep it up because I know we can do this. :muscle::green_heart:

1 Like

It’s such a different feeling than just thinking, “I know I should do this, so I’m going to push through”. So glad we’re all here together. :green_heart::green_heart::green_heart:

1 Like

I think when i was where you are the things that made a difference to me where…number 1 and the biggest game changer was this community…the fact that i could talk to people who truly understood what addiction is like…they taught me that it also was ok to have compassion for myself when i hated who id become and that i had real and genine support…ive been on here every day since and its day 524, if i dont need help that day i try to help others, number 2 was Allen Carrs easy way to quit drinking which changed my mindset on drinking forever :heart::people_hugging:

2 Likes

@YesNoMaybe similar situation with quitting before, anytime something happened that was even slightly irritating or upsetting I went back to the drink. Having a plan is so important. I believe we can do it 🩷

2 Likes

One thing i tell myself still is that drinking is just not an option for me and so when shit inevitably happens in life i have to find another way to deal it, i remember getting so used to drinking things away i got to a point where i forgot if it was even necessary

2 Likes

First of all, congrats on 524 days! That’s an amazing accomplishment and you have so much to be proud of. :smiling_face_with_three_hearts: And yea, I think a big part of what flipped the switch in my mind was this community. Everytime I’ve tried to quit, I always did it alone. The day I downloaded the app, I had slept off a hangover all day, just felt miserable and was beating myself up internally for being in that position, yet again. Like I usually did. Then I started scrolling through all the stories of every kind under the sun and suddenly it didn’t feel so impossible. And every single reply was encouraging, supportive, inspiring and helpful in one way or another. I started thinking back to when I hit my 35 days and just knew there was no reason for me to keep doing this to myself. I’m so thankful to be here. Thank you all for your support, experiences and kind words. :green_heart::green_heart::green_heart:

1 Like

Knowing that the buzz we crave happens after two glasses and quickly diminishes, helped me understand drinking is completely useless as I can’t stop after two glasses… Plus that buzz is only shortly lived. So no need to drink anymore :wink:

1 Like

Thank you :blush: trust me when i came here i was in an absolute desperate state…id spent the night in hospital because id got myself so drunk the night before id passed out infront of my then 5 year old daughter…luckily a neighbour saw through my window…police, ambulance and my parents were called and i was investigated by child protection…that was it for me…the prospect of losing my daughter and her seeing me like that meant i couldnt ever drink again and i havent…so i get it i really do xx

1 Like

I’m so sorry you and your daughter ever went through that and I can definitely empathize with that. That day I slept off the hangover all day, I was waiting in the pick up line to get my 5 year old daughter from school when I downloaded this app. That morning, my best friend (who lives with us) had to wake me up because my alarms were blaring but I was so passed out I didn’t hear them. She missed two days of school that week for the same reason. I knew if I kept doing what I was doing, we would ALL continue to suffer for it. I’m very, VERY lucky I have never been hospitalized and I seriously don’t how now considering the shear amount and frequency I consumed. So glad we can be this honest. It truly is liberating. :sob::green_heart: And I’m so glad you’re with us. You’re making a difference, seriously!

1 Like

Thank you, for me it came down to a simple choice…the drinking or my daughter… i cannot have both…well there was no comparison so here i am. Im a completely open book these days…it really does do you so much good just be completely honest after all the guilt, shame and sneaking around while your drinking…its people like you that keep me grounded here because it helps me to help you just like i was helped in the beginning so thank you for coming here and sharing so bravely, we can all get through this together :heart:

1 Like

.

.
I felt great because i believe it was my body telling me FINALLY