I wonder if most (if not all) of us grew up with those thoughts. Both my sister and I were picked on a lot by the cooler kids. But she found her crew and accepted who she was and didn’t care about the cool kids. Me? I figured they picked on me because there was things that were wrong with me and that I needed to fix. Can you guess which one of us became an alcoholic and which one has never drank a single drink in her life???
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You’ve got this my dear friend, you read my mind and even better, you read your OWN mind!! It’s so not necessary to be anyone else, you are amazing as you are! I said this exact thing last night to someone else: there is only one you and who does it best? You! So damn it, let’s do that! Very fitting today too so I had to share!
I too though have felt much of the not being able to let loose often since getting sober. I don’t battle the worrying about what others think of me much at all but I battle the who am I and what do I truly enjoy doing and find pleasure in? I have struggled at times with that and trying to discover more of what am I doing because I truly ENJOY doing it and realizing what am I doing out of obligation. The more I go towards the things I love to do or am inspired to do, the more I liven up! The more I do things out of feeling obligated, the more I tend to close up and feel not great or authentic and even if I stay open, I feel totally exhausted after. I feel the opposite after doing something I really like doing, I feel invigorated! I think we need to discover more of those things we enjoy and DO them! I know I lived a lot of my own life trying to mold in with the outside world and I think we instead were made to stand out JUST as we are by simply enjoying doing what we love. 
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Your outlook and the program you work are both truly great models for others to follow @TMAC. Your resolve and determination day in and day out to find balance in all things has kept me on the path a handful of times. Your humility and kindness are nothing to scoff at either.
Glad to stand shoulder to shoulder with you, Tristan.
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Thanks a million! 
This was great to read, I’m glad you wrote it. Thanks for taking the time to do so 
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Self acceptance, working on that one 
I am trying to look at the positives that come with the traits I listed. They can be spun to be described with more positive words – dependable, mild-mannered, conscientious, etc.
And I with you, my friend. Thanks for saying such nice stuff about me
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Another part of the battle vs alcohol…rediscovering ourselves! Molding ourselves!
Thanks for your words, they help put things in perspective 
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Tristan, my friend. You sir, are a great inspiration to me and, after reading down I can see others are like minded.
I think we can all suffer self doubt, I have! But if we can learn from it then we get stronger as a person. This journey we are on can and does lead us to self analysis, which is a good thing, because we have to learn how to live without the crutch that we have used for so long.
We can all look at other people and think why can’t I be like that. Well for all we know, they’re looking at us and thinking the same. And for us to be thinking this way, to me, means we are aware of how our actions can affect others and are conscious of ourselves.
Keep doing what you are doing mate. It can only make you a better, stronger human being!
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Thanks mate. Honored to call you a friend. I think I mentioned it in another reply, but I have spent so long thinking there has to be something wrong with me, and now I am realizing that maybe there isn’t. Just because I am not like someone else, or lack traits that they have and I don’t, doesn’t automatically make me “less than”. It just means I have different things to offer.
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Some would call this being self-disciplined. It’s not easy to deny ourselves, but indulging our baser selves often leads to ruin. We know this, because we’ve been there.
You’ve chosen the correct path, the hard path, the disciplined path. You’ve chosen this because you’ve learned there is a dichotomy in life: Easy path leads to a hard life. The hard path leads to an easier life.
I’ve enjoyed watching you fight through the hard path. Keep getting better at getting better. Keep getting after it.
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