So I am at day 4. With all the glamor of alcohol there is not a lot of publicity about the fallout, the broken relationships, the loss, the self torment, the shame and guilt, the depression and anxiety, and all of the rest of the emotional roller coaster that comes along with it. Also what about the impact it has on our body.
While I am not having physical symptoms of anything and rarely have hangovers (which is so normally unusual and a miracle) I am now so paranoid about my health and about the 17 years of heavy drinking and binge drinking. I have compensated by overhauling my diet to be pure foods and exercising.
This week has been the roughest. The depression, worthlessness, hopelessness, frustration, self loathing, shame, and anxiety are never ending. It is difficult. However it is all about inches, hours, and taking it day by day. I don’t feel confident in myself anymore however… hour by hour and day by day.
The best thing I ever did for my recovery and mental health was to find a primary care doctor and get a physical, do lab work, and address my concerns. The best! Such a weight off me to know what I was dealing with and how to continue to improve my health. I highly recommend it!
You had all this before but used alcohol to plaster the gaps. Takes a bit of getting used to living with the real self for a while but with time you’ll realise your actually quite an amazing person and what we put into life we start to get back and it’s not such a bad place to be after all. In fact I’ve come to love sober life even the bad days are now opportunity’s to try and improve instead of have panic attacks like the old days…
Days 4-12 are the absolutely worst for me. I have been there many times and I despise when I need to type it out. The thing about those days, well - your body is like, “WTF?” and so is your brain. You are just sober enough to feel everything, but not clean enough to deal well with it.
The relief won’t come for awhile. I’d love to paint you some rainbows and flowers but almost two decades of use is going to cost you and it’s gonna suck. The good news is, if you don’t cave - you never have to do another day 4 - EVER.
Love, from A current-four-decade-drinker-now-on-Day 2. Don’t be me.
This is your life and this is your life’s work. The benefits will come, some fast, some slow. But be sure there are too many to mention or to count. This is a work of love you’re undertaking. Love for yourself in the first place but via that also for those you love and the world at large. One day at a time. you’re well on your way @Havingagoodday Brooke. Keep going. Hugs.
Trouble is this isn’t you either, You know your worth, you know the person you want to be. Please next time give us a shout out, if I’m not at work we can just sit here and get through it.
Hang in there it will pass, and the days will build and build until you rarely even think about alcohol any more. Rather than feel deprived I celebrated every sober day as a return to health and my body healing and cleansing itself. Keep going
Just remember that what you’re feeling is normal. It’s going to get worse before it slowly starts to get better, but it WILL get better. All of your emotions are out of whack, your nervous system is out of whack, your brain is out of whack… but they will all heal, in time. The decision is the biggest step and you should be proud of that. You will be tested, but you can win. Never lose focus on why you’re doing this. You’re not alone. You got this!
Hi!! Just wanted to reach out and say that I am also on day 4. I am right there with you on all of it. Sometimes the anxiety, frustration and anger gets overwhelming! I hope you are doing well and we can get through this!
