Its day 7, I had some cravings today. I looked in the mirror and hated what I saw, I went out today and i felt everyone looking at me. I feel ugly and my self esteem is so low, it makes me feel hopeless, all i wanted to do was drink. I went into a bar and ordered a lime and soda water and went home. And im reading a book and browsing this forum. Why do i feel like im so ugly stupid and worthless it is so painful. I am doing every right in my life but still my brain tortures me.
4 Likes
Tip for recovery - Don’t go to a bar if you are struggling.
6 Likes
I was at an AA meeting last night where the topic was self acceptance from the Daily Reflections. Every single person who shared, including myself, had the same experience as you in the early days. It took a lot of hard work and time but I finally gained that self acceptance through the 12 steps of AA.
5 Likes
I can relate! I can’t stand to look at my body in the mirror. I told my sponsor she told me to look in the mirror and say affirmations to myself and also write them down everyday. At first I was sad and didn’t believe it at all when I did it. After a long time I’m used to it bc I do it every morning. I also listen to the song unstoppable to motivate myself. I feel better about myself today I know when I’m loving myself I won’t give in to my addiction bc I care about me. I don’t want to hurt myself anymore. That’s a great feeling!!
1 Like
It is hard, substance abuse gave us a sort of confidence like they say liquid courage,
Now you have the cloak taken away and have to feel what you feel it’s terrible some days I know
But I’m here for me, I do what I do to benefit me, I don’t give a fuck what other people think, people think I’m ugly good for them, others find me attractive,
I spent most of my life caring about what others thought, what others needed, empath if you will, but while others where drinking from my cup, there was none left for me.
Focus on yourself, find one thing you like about yard elf and then add to that, eventually your gonna see yourself in a different light and that confidence will flow, when that happens people will for sure see you in a different light
4 Likes
Have you seen my first post??? That’s ugly!
You are beating yourself up from the last, don’t hold on to it and stop judging yourself. You are doing wonderful, your body a.s mind are trying to detox so do t expect too much for the first couple weeks. Rest and keep your mind busy with other things.
You so GOT this! The icky feelings will pass, I promise. 
2 Likes
Thank you for the replies. I just had a bad turn. Im very tired,mentally and physically and I worked myself up. Day 8 now and feeling okay.
5 Likes