Day at the pool sober

Life in Recovery
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Hey guys just wanted to share my experience of a day at the pool on the 4th July sober.

Just saying 2 days ago my friend invited me to a pool “party” for yesterday 4th July. I didn’t awnser right away. So yesterday she texted me back. And I was still not sure : just going to chill by a pool with people drinking all day from noon to whatever.

Didn’t answer lol

So I went to the gym at noon, did my things. When I got back home (it was a really nice day) I decided to go with a plan. I’ll bring food to cook, some stuff to make myself some nice virgin cocktails then I went.

It was really nice actually and some people didn’t know I wasnt drinking or were thinking I should be back to drinking right now considering my past try or just because they thought I was only taking a little break. But no pressure. Some people offering beer or drink because they didn’t know or were just drunk and being nice, but no pressure.

So I chilled in the pool, with iced coffees and others stuff. When I got bored I made some lunch. Chill back in the pool and later when I got bored again and people were getting drunk I took the lead to plan on the dinner. We decided what we would have then I went with some dude getting the burgers stuff and veggies and I cooked everything.

It felt good to be the one in control and doing some good stuff and making people happy and enjoying the moment. I was enjoying it too. Then I drived back home no problem and this morning I feel good, no hangover from a day at the pool, which usually ill be dead for 2 days because I would have probably end up to a bar after the day…

Right now I remember myself cooking 20 burgers on the grill, putting the cheese and bread and stuff, like I was in a rush in a restaurant, and it felt so good to be the one being able to do the stuff right because I was the only one not drunk. I remember telling myself at this moment that I felt good, in this right moment I was truly happy with my decision, and was telling myselft “look at you, having fun being sober!”

I think it’s important to think about the good stuff and the good feeling you can get from being sober; not what good moments you’re missing from using, because the side effects are enormous compared to being clean, and you still can be in these moments, and also remember them.

Have a great day guys!

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Great story, thanks for sharing!!

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Sounds like a wonderful day. :blush:

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I love this. So glad you had a great day and felt good about it. I agree - we had far too many bad days. It’s important to share the good ones!

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I know exactly how you feel. My mother in law had a bbq at her house and I was a little anxious Because I know it’s the same all the time … alcohol and more alcohol aroun. So I took a book and some stuff to making my mocktails. I actually enjoyed a lot but by 7:30 I was done , everyone was drunk and tipsy and I was so ready to leave. I love my mother in law but yesterday I saw her in another light … drunk and It really hit me , I don’t want to grow old like that , not for me or my kids I want them to see there’s other way to socialize. I had spoke with my husband many times that I need to do this , he thinks I just have to control my drinking ,but I been trying that for a while and it doesn’t work I have to stop completely. So I ask him many time if we Could live , nothing … he’s a strong drinker so of course he was drunk. I ended it living by my self … in another moment I would use that as an excuse to drink , to be mad and of course get drunk. But that’s not what I want right now. I feel upset , I wish I had his support but I realized this is my journey and he doesn’t need to aprove or support. I know our rationship is going to change a lot because we are drinking partners we do pretty much everything drinking so this is a major change. We ll see how this goes.
Congrats in your beautiful day !

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You’ve heard of the designated-driver, right? The one person in the group who ensures that everyone gets home safe and sound?

In a marriage where there’s both heavy drinking and kids involved, someone has to be the “designated thinker”. Kids need care. Emergencies happen. Someone has to take responsibility to be the adult, to remain sober and alert, to be the designated thinker.

That’s you. Take pride in the awesome responsibility this is. When your kids are old enough to understand, they will appreciate what you are doing for them. You are the one they can count on, 100% of the time. It may weigh heavy on you at times, but most responsibilities do.

Keep getting after it, Mom.

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Very similar situation for me yesterday. Hung out, drinking my Arnold Palmer’s, but by 7pm, had enough. Also thought how I would normally stop and grab a bottle on the way home, but didn’t this time, and was called back out to the party for the drunks taco run (proud my wife had enough sense to call me) and to pick her up.

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I never thought about that … every body drinks … I mean everybody! I drove drunk with my kids 2 times and that’s one of the main regrets that I have and why I decided to Stop. My husband is the one driving all the time … and in my crazy mind I felt secure. He doesn’t looses control or gets waisted like me but he drinks … so you are totally right maybe that’s going to be me , the one in charge to take us home. So what would you suggest if he doesn’t want to live like last night … my father in law ended taking him home like 15 min after I left. … i guess he felt guilty.
Ny the way we all live like 5 minutes away anyways …

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This is a new world for us too, one of us actually being sober. So we’re making it up as we go. I have usually been the driver, no matter my condition, so it just made sense for her to make that call. My favorite explanation when I would have to pick her up, after I was drinking, was “you woke me up”

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I like your story…the bit that still gets me on nights out is how I am going to get there and back…then I remember I am not drinking I can take the car! :grin:

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He actually texted me just when I was arriving home … :confused: I’m going to need all the patience in the world … and change my mind set.
I’m sure he felt awful today going to work a little late. On my end it feels good not to be the one messing things up , for many times I was the one arguing about Staying a little longer and having one las one …

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Yep that’s also new territory for me, not being the one messing up. Lol I use to convince myself that is why we worked so good, I was the :face_with_symbols_over_mouth: up, and she was a good person. Until I got it in writing how much having to deal with me like that was hurting her.

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Ha, great share pal!! I’m happy for you:)

I had a similar expirience yesterday. I’ll start with Wednesday night. There’s fireworks on the 3rd near my house so there was a little block party at the end of my street. It was cool. The kids were playing and the parents were chattin.

I found this party interesting because it was normal people drinking a beer or 2 and that was it. There were no cases of beer or bottles of booze. Just a couple beers.

Fast foward to yesterday. We went to my in-laws best friends pool party. These people party. They drink like I drank. This party did have the cases and the bottles. So it was interesting for me to see both sides of the way people drink.

It was cool tho. My wife got to bullshit in the shade with some old friends. I got to have fun in the pool with my kid. And when it was time to go, we left. I drove cuz the wifey had 2 beers.

It was nice in both situations because I didn’t have anything to be afraid of. I don’t drink anymore. Period. So I was able to make the best of each situation where people where drinking.

It’s great to be in a place where I don’t have to hide in some hole of recovery. That won’t work for me. A reward of my recovery is that I can go anywhere and do anything. That’s freedom for me. It doesn’t matter if people are drinking. I don’t drink:)

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Good morning my friend. I now believe that God is in the rooms of AA/NA and in my heart. Today faith is as natural to me as breathing. The Twelve Steps have helped to change my life in many ways for the better, but none is more effective than the acquisition of a Higher Power and turning my life and will over to His care. God bless and stay safe.

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Amen, my drinking was never about being social. Much easier with clear mind to be the person I thought I had to have alcohol to be.

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