This is one of many day ones for me. I quit drinking in 2024 and had a streak of 20 months! I was very proud of myself. The curiosity of me drinking again crept up on me and 5 months ago I decided to let alcohol back into my life after a particularly Rough day. I also started dating again after 2 years of being single and that terrified me as well, so I thought maybe if I drink it would be easier to put myself out there. I thought I would be able to moderate with low alcohol beers making sure I had a grip on it and as time went on I found myself right back to drinking how I used to. It’s too much and making me sick. It’s causing me to have horrible hangovers while I care for my young son. It makes me a bad mom because I’m not being present enough for him. I regret letting it back in my life and I regret the selfish choices I make when I’m drinking like drunk driving or spending money I don’t have on booze. It’s like a leech that takes over my brain. Researching what alcohol does to the brain and body really helps me make the decision to stop again. But it’s hard getting past those cravings. I did it before and I know I can do it again! I think my mistake last time I quit was doing it alone and not having a community like this to share to. I know I’m not in this alone!
Its a wonderful day for a day one!
Welcome @zazzimerlin im glad you found this awesome sober community. This place and aa keep me sober. Read around lots and reach out before picking up
Warm welcome. 
Keep on reading and sharing, having support is crucial. You are not alone with the sure I can moderate this time thinking. Me included.
Welcome Zazzi.
So glad you found us.
This is a wonderful supportive community. Have a good read around. Join in when you’re comfortable.
This does unfortunately happen to a lot of people, but glad you’re reaching out for help and support again. This makes me think of the line in the AA literature that talks about the alcoholic trying to repeat the experiment of the first drink. It never goes well. You’re may have some control for a bit, but then it goes full force again at some point. Happened to me too. I drank again one night and felt bad about it, didn’t drink again for like a month, and then went right back to how I used to. Caused a lot of pain in a short period to me and worry to my family. I’m not sure what you did before to maintain and grow in your sobriety, but it’s definitely a daily effort. Complacency is a real killer for alcoholics. Before you pick up that drink try to remember where it leads. Call or go talk to someone who understands. It helps a lot. Wishing the best for you
Welcome!
Much respect for 20 months! Wow! You can do it again… this time you know, that its not possible to just have one drink. I also have these thoughts but I know…today it would be one drink, in a few days maybe 2 or 3 and after some weeks i would be back at my 1 to 2 bottles of wine.
This realization will help you a lot this time. You can do it ..lets go! 
Lots of Love!
Thank you everyone for the support!! I know I can reach out next time alcohol wants to sneak back in! We got this! 
Thanks so much! I’m so glad I’m not alone in this. Yes the wine got to me too after awhile. Alcohol is trash in any form it comes in. Straight up poison!
Thank you! I think what kept me sober for that long was research and will power, but I know will power runs out eventually and alcohol snuck back in when I felt low in my life. What are some ways that you keep yourself sober?
Thank you I will definitely check this out I appreciate all the help I can get 
Yeah sheer will power alone will always fail you. I do the full gambit of AA stuff. I go to meetings, take commitments, talk to other sober alcoholics, and work the twelve steps the best I can. Staying busy of course helps too and use of my arsenal of therapy skills when I feel anxious, angry, depressed, etc. Just stay connected with a program and routine that works for you and do it consistently
There’s no time like the present. Look at this latest drinking episode as data, and the data says that you can’t drink safely. I learned the same thing and accepted my need for sobriety. best of luck to you going forward!
From someone who thought they didn’t need meetings, give them a try! If you’re nervous, try a virtual meeting I know someone posted a link around this place not long ago. The sober journey has been a lot more peaceful since I started going to meetings, there really is something healing about a group of people with the same struggle sharing in a room together. I was like you, almost to two years two years ago and then I relapsed and it took me two years to come around again and realize I wanted out! Stick with it one day at a time!
Yo almost two years like me, that’s crazy how the alcohol can sneak back in like that after so long. Let’s do another 2 years we got this!
Virtual meetings are a good idea I’ll try it out!
35 years here, just keep your priorities straight, sobriety , faith & spirituality first….before Love & Romace, that will come in time, but not the most important thing….
Lets do this! Is the first thing I look at every morning on this app.
A very good friend said to me “We’ve got this” that was at the start of my sober life.
It really helps me knowing that someone else is exactly like you, pushing and determined that this time “We’ve got this”.
This is a great place to be. A great tool to have in your pocket with great people here to offer support or just an ear.
You’ve done it once, you know you can do it again.
Youre so right on the love and romance thing. There’s not really any meaningful connection happening on dates when both parties are drinking. I was definitely giving alcohol too much credit for what I thought it was helping me with.
Congrats on 386 days wow I can’t wait to be there myself! This community is helping so much I’m glad I chose to do it differently this time and reach out instead of keeping to myself.
Hi. I read your message of coming back to the drinking after 20 months choosing to not drink. Thank GOODNESS your choice didnt take you down a road that easily may have taken you completely out . Such as hurting yourself or hurting someone else while driving while drunk. I suggest you find a local A.A. group Share what you shared here and you will not be doing it alone there for sure. It helped me through the last 32 years. I too was one exactly like your story except I had 2 young boys to rais on my own. I too thought the same thing I can stop drinking on my own. But this IS a disease, I learned that the hard way by getting a DWI and jail time, all the while I was alone there too.
There are many like us , I found what I needed within the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous group and saw so very many others EXACTLY as I was then. Im greatful today I realized this quiting drinking thing CANNOT be conquered alone.
Many there will welcome you and be there FOR you just go in sit down and find that moment that feels right for you to share ypur story there.