I just can’t do this anymore! I’m sad, tired and just want a different life. Why is this so hard for me. I’ve tried everything AA and different support groups and I come back to this. I feel so lost, ashamed and alone.
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Everything you are feeling is normal and we’ve all been there. Some more than others.
Something that has always stuck with me ‘you have never truly failed until you stop trying’
Hang in there
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Welcome Iris! When you say you tried AA and other support groups, did you work the programs? In my early days, I would go to AA meetings but I would get there right when it started and leave immediately at the end. It wasn’t until I started sharing, going out with the ladies after the meetings, got a sponsor and taking on commitments that I truly started working the program. I’ve found that my recovery must come first so that everything I love in life doesn’t have to come last. AA is not for everyone but there’s other programs out there. Here’s a link if you’re interested. Resources for our recovery
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it’s hard because it’s …REALLY HARD!!! you are so not alone. we have all been there, i myself had had too many Day 1s to count. HOWEVER your desire and drive for a “different life” as you put it, WILL take you there — there’s no shame in falling, because look, you got right back up and said “day 1 again” and came to a public platform to announce it. if you weren’t serious about this you wouldn’t have made that brave step!! you ARE doing it, this is part of the process!! every time you fall and get back up you learn something different. eventually it all adds up!! i believe in you 100% 
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Don’t think much about yesterday. The obsession vanish soon, but You must want, you’ll find millions that need. So Want, not because you need it, do it for you because everything starts and ends in you
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You are not alone! Everyone on here has felt that same despair. It will go away. Make the choice today, and everyday thereafter to not drink.
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Quitting is easy…
We’ve all done it thousands of times! 
All kidding aside, brush it off, get back on track. We’ve all been there. Nothing to be ashamed of.
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Its hard because alcohol is powerful. I worshipped the stuff until I took drastic (and kinda fun) steps to stop. The start is the hardest. Do anything you can, for me it was get the courage to try AA again.
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I’m back for day one too. It sucks; I’m mad at myself too. You and me on day one together; neither of us is alone. Good luck
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That’s so powerful and true. Thank you for sharing.
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You’re welcome.
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