Here on day one…again. Not my first by any means. Each day one I get so mired in self loathing and disappointment in myself. Makes seeing any positive alternative difficult. I’m putting in the work seeing a therapist, listening to podcasts, attending meetings etc. but then the cravings hit and the stress of life leads me back into old routines. I can get stints of sobriety under my belt but always seem to fall back. Just so disappointed and helpless but need to know this is all a part of the journey. Seems like I’m not alone in this but it’s a disheartening feeling.
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Hey Greg, and welcome to TS man!!
Your story is not unlike mine and many here, trial and error. The fact you are still trying says it all.
Make your plan, find what interests you (me it’s been my physical health and working out) and keep those important things front of mind. They are your happy places and only get destroyed by relapses.
This place offered me so much support and comraderie, it was amazing. It can do the same for you as well if you spend the time here, engaged, reading and taking inspiration from others that have come before you and those also just in their infancy stages…
I wish you well and hope to see more of your successes my friend.
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I think most people on here have a period at the beginning of their sobriety where your in and out of your addiction for a while i know i was but i think there comes a point be it either a rock bottom experience or a feeling of knowing you want to be completely done that propels you into getting sober for good…in the beginning i feel like relapsing on and off is part of active addiction and not recovery…once your properly done then relapse does not have to be part of recovery…you need to be determined and have a solid plan in place. For me at the beginning i spent 3 months completely away from alcohol…i didnt have it in the house…didnt socialise where it was and didnt even give it eye contact in the supermarket. I read quit lit Allen Carr helped alot with drinking mindset, if hardships in life came up i told myself over and over again that drinking just isnt an option for me and so i had to find another way to deal with life. After that i looked deep into my whys…why was i drinking? What was i trying to escape from, comfort over? And started work to find the answers to those questions…write lists of these and go about working on them to get to the real crux of the reason you drink…its an essential to stay connected to a community of people who understand addiction and make it your duty to reach out when you need help and before youd pick up because you cannot do it alone.
Hope this helps🙏
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Hi greg yep all been there it does seem like a tunnel with no end but keep going and learning from each mistake as it will help you when it clicks. Took me so many times like getting 2 weeks then a month but couldnt keep going till i set a plan and had coping tools which i learnt from ny relapses and as chevy55 says get new hobbies find what works for you to start with and then they will become part of your new life.
Good luck pal ADAAT 
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I think many of us can relate. Good intentions and lapses, that’s been my story anyway. I wholly agree with those that recomend new hobbies etc. I tried going cold turkey from drink so many times. This time I looked at my triggers and realised the biggest issue was my job. I was going to work to get stressed out, a good portion of the money I earned was being spent on alcohol to erase the stress and misery of my job. I’ve quit that job. Not an option for everyone I know. At the moment we’re eating into savings, but on the plus side I feel better, my out goings are a lot lower as I’m not buying alcohol daily and I’ve realised my life is good. I may relapse I may not, as others say “it’s today I’m not drinking”. Deal with it in bite size chunks and try to remove things which put you in the mood for catering for your addiction. Lastly good luck, it’s not going to be easy, but it will be worth it.
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This is a brilliant thread for getting a sober plan together…
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Welcome Greg
If nothing changes.
Nothing changes.
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For me im a guy who got this first time went to a meeting and was willing to do anything to stay sober had plenty of excuses but had no reason to lift another drink , today there are other factors that i didnt have mobiles no internet then so wasnt influenced by social media , meetings gave me a network ,the program gave me a good foundation to bring into my life , i wish you well on your journey
I’m on day 4 again, I had a similar experience with the guilt and shame aspect of waking up starting on day one again which I’ve lost count on. In previous times it’s been bad for some reason this time even though I hadn’t upset or done anything stupid I still felt worse than normal.
I came straight back on here and started to read through people’s stories, i found it’s something that really helps to just see that you’re not on your own, that you’re not the only one who is going through this too. There’s some nice positive stories too which always help too.
Just take it one day at a time or even one hour of a time whatever suits you and you will get through it.