Advice for the Newcomer and Constant Relapser

Sobriety and recovery is a process of walking away from the old days of drinking/using that don’t work anymore. It’s embracing uncomfortable change for the better and deciding to not stay where you were. It’s learning to love yourself enough to say “I can’t live like this anymore and I need help”.
Please add here the advice that you would like to gives to others. What tips and tricks has worked for your sobriety? What can someone newly sober expect on this journey?

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For some reason I was thinking this was a different site
New to Sobriety
Slipped again
Fallen off the Sober Train
Threw out the booze
Over 1000 times I have done this and I need to start again....😖
Day 1 again....sigh
I'm happy I decided to get help
I relapsed...again
Hello First Post
Making a choice today
Afraid of Failing
Reset Sucks!
Anybody out there?
My day one, again
I'm on a quest to find myself and fill the void I once filled with my substance use
Almost three days in, motivated to finally change
I need help, I just have no idea where to start
That's it I've had enough!
Advice / suggestions needed
Made it through hell week
Tips on things to avoid when trying to stay sober?
Starting again now day 2 for the 100th time
Smedleys fight with drink
Is moderate drinking possible again?
My first real attempt to slow down
This is it now
Checking in daily to maintain focus #9
NEED a hobby
Am lonely and tired of the same ordinary routine
Trying to quit drinking beer cold turkey
Relapsed again :( New here
Grrr I relapsed
Looking for Advice for relapse and moments of weekness
New to this. Any advice?
Thoughts from the trails
Hurting People Close to Me
New to group & Need Relapse Advice/Help ASAP!
Proud Friday Night
Is someone available to talk please?
Seeking a Change
Hi All, new here
Struggling much
Been on a bender
Help Really struggling
New found Sobriety
Sunday Day/Night- What’s Up?
New here. Can I just reach out when Im struggling?
Back to day 2 Don’t fail
I monumentally fucked up
Being sober in life
Need motivation or a push
First time 4+ days sober!
I'll be home alone
Well, I'm stupid
Newbie to this site and the sober life
3 months dry!
Always a FAILURE
I need your shoulder, please help me. Please reach to my inbox. I am all waiting for your support
My boyfriend isn’t going to get sober with me
Frequently asked questions about sobriety for newcomers
Hi new here... Third attempt of quitting this year. Fingers crossed 💪🏼
1st day sober, scared, worried, and overwhelmed
I’m up too late
I know the road ahead is going to be so hard
Help me I'm lost
Day 1 again, trying to stay positive and motivated
First day sober (tomorrow)
This is for him and me
This thread is inspiring and will help you, please take a look

One piece of advice that I can give to a fellow alcoholic is to wake up every day and tell yourself you don’t have to drink today. Anything that you plan on doing can be done without drinking. Also, PICK UP YOUR PHONE and call somebody if you are really feeling like drinking (preferably another alcoholic/addict), when I found my gf w another guy a few months back I had to take out every tool I had out of my toolbox wich included calling my sponsor and a member on this forum. I honestly think that saved me from slipping.

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Phase 1: At the beginning…
You’ll feel very tired but might also have trouble sleeping.You’ll feel all sorts of emotions (from depression to anger, restlessness to exhaustion, sadness to confusion) You might have itching skin, body aches, headaches, appetite issues, nausea, bathroom issues, anxiety, sweats, extreme boredom, etc.
Yeah, well…this is perfectly normal. And all of us have gone through one or more of these as a side affect to stopping the poison from entering our body (and finally letting our body and mind start the healing process). You’re finally listening to your body instead of continuing to cover up the damage. And it’s really uncomfortable. And you might think “I can’t do this”. Ah, dear brothers and sisters, but you can! All of this is only temporary. And you are strong. You’ve survived 100% of what you’re been through in life so far…you can survive this too.
What to do? Keep it simple. Go into hibernation mode…
*Get plenty of rest (this is when we heal the most)
*Eat light and nutritious meals and snacks
*Take vitamins b complex, magnesium, omega-3 (Addicts/Alcoholics are deficient in these.)
*Stay hydrated. Drink plenty of water. (yes, you are dehydrated and need water to heal as well)
*Don’t expect much from yourself yet: read, veg out in front of the t.v., sleep, cry in the shower, call a good friend, come to this forum and vent, take a walk…just don’t drink or use.

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Phase 2 Build your support system, start your sobriety toolbox, and start educating yourself

http://talkingsober.com/t/online-support-groups-chats-blogs-websites/1268?u=melrm&source_topic_id=11064 http://talkingsober.com/t/relapse-prevention/970?u=melrm&source_topic_id=11064

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Phase 3 Self-care

http://talkingsober.com/t/self-care-practices/9986?u=melrm&source_topic_id=11064 http://talkingsober.com/t/things-i-do-instead-of-using/370?u=melrm&source_topic_id=11064

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Phase 4 Positive thinking, change mindset, rewiring your negative thought habits

http://talkingsober.com/t/positive-thinking-benefits/479?u=melrm&source_topic_id=11064

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Phase 5 ENJOY your sobriety

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thank you for such a well thought out thread/posts!

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I’m with @les!

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This is a great idea :slight_smile:

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Wow @Melrm thanks for putting all this together! I almost teared up looking at Phase 5, in a good way.

I was trying to catch up on posts today and noticed a number of people slipping/relapsing or struggling, and I replied with some links. Believe me I am in no way above a relapse! especially certain situations, but it made me sad for them. Anyway, thanks and I’ll contribute something useful on this thread soon.

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Bloody he’ll this is really good information thank you so much

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@Melrm, there are so many good things that you shared here. This is an amazing well rounded set of tips and strategies that truly make a difference. I can see why your recovery is progressing so well. Thank you for sharing. I will definitely see how I can incorporate this into my own program. Wow! I’m very impressed.

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My experience goes to show that until I was fully convinced I was an addict and the idea that somehow someway I could control my using was smashed I could never really grab ahold of this with a willingness that got me far enough into the work where I was relieved of the obsession to use…I reached a point where “i” got tired of trying to get clean so I just decided to stay out until I was convinced…notice how I said “I”…I was still trying to control my using by not using…this is why the God part of this program is so IMPORTANT…I can’t will myself clean…I had to let go and let God…the cool thing about it was…it was only in this moment or that moment I had to give my will over the higher power/God of my understanding(workthesteps) :wink:

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