So many times I have told myself that this is the last time I drink. Im filled with shame and guilt accompanied by the awful hangover. My problem with alcohol is I do not know how to drink responsibly. I binge drink every weekend. I act like a complete fool and say things I regret later. Why do I continue to torture myself?? Im a 37 yo woman with a wonderful family and I want to quit for them. Reading other people’s stories helps me to feel better. I know I am not alone in this. I am choosing not to tell anyone in my life that I am quitting alcohol because most will just brush me off and say yeah ok. Ive said this before and then the weekend comes and Im drunk again…I want to do this for me and for my husband and kids. Alcohol brings out the worst in me and I am just tired of it
You are definitely not alone. Today is my day one again too. I also have a husband and kids. They deserve to have me at my best. I know I need to do this for myself though. I’m so productive and great when I’m sober. Don’t know why I keep putting myself in this predicament. How is your husband with all of this?
He loves me so much and has been dealing with this for years. I see the disappointment in his eyes when i finally crawl out of bed. He doesnt know that I am trying to abstain. In the past I have told him Im stopping but he says that I always say that. Its true. So thats another reason why im keeping it to myself. Im grateful he has stayed with me for as long as he has. Our marriage is good so I want to keep it that way before I do something really regretful
Have you considered AA?
You are certainly not alone. I am a binge drinking myself on day 15. You can beat this and if you are doing it for yourself and your family then you are in it for the right reasons!
I have thought about and even looked up meetings, but I feel too embarrassed to go.
I know the feeling. I didn’t want to be a part of “those people” either. I really didn’t know what to expect other than that I wouldn’t fit in. But I was really desperate so I figured I would go a few times to prove to myself that I was right. Almost a year later and I’m still trying to prove it lol. What I really got, though, was this group of people who genuinely care about me and want to see me succeed. Everything good in my life is a direct result of AA and my higher power. And I mean everything.
I am a 37 year old woman who would binge every weekend and do the dumbest most shameful things. I also have 3 kids, and a husband who I almost lost because of my drinking. I couldn’t quit, and I damn right couldn’t moderate. Let this hangover be your last, and take some steps towards recovery! I went to AA for the first time today and I am so happy that I did. Let me know if I can help you find a meeting!
I drank for decades…quit for decades…i poured so much alcohol down the drain over the years that i could make a small country drunk. I have no off switch when it comes to alcohol. If i did limit my consumption, it was a painfully hard thing to do.
Welcome to the place where we all get it! This place has helped me trememdously!
You sound just like me. I have no off switch so I need to just quit altogether. I think I will go to a meeting this week.
Yep. Before the first drink was done I would literally be anticipating the 2nd, and I’d get anxiety if I knew I was running out of alcohol. I neglected my kids, I spent many a morning too hungover and sick to play with them. It was a very joyless life! There are womens only meetings as well- I was supposed to go to that one but I misread the time so just went to a general share meeting. Absolutely loved it!
This is day one for me, too. I also have a great husband and family. This time feels different. I have had it with the nonsense and with feeling like crap. We can do this. I love knowing that there are others with the same day one.
Welcome @Redrachel. I have been where you are. I have 2 beautiful daughters, a wonderful husband and a great job. everything I ever wanted and I risked losing it all so i could drink. My first weekend sober was spent camping with a huge group of sober people. Spend my days in AA meetings and learning about why I drank. Spent the rest of my free time in nature trying desperately not to drink. Walked and biked A LOT of miles. I stayed sober that weekend because of all the support I received. I never would have made without the support of others. I told everyone i was quiting. Had to be held accountable. Also spoke to my dr about medication. Ended up praying to, well the sky I guess, to help me to stay sober. Didn’t believe in a higher power. It has been 522 days since that weekend. If I can quit after years of daily drinking anyone can. Got me a higher power now and i thank her everynight and every morning. Keep reading and posting