Thank you for posting this link! I’ve heard about it, but your post made it easy for me to go to the website. I am reading about it now. Just wanted to say thanks!
2 Likes
I also should have listed you! 
I’m hardly someone to look to for advice, but if anyone needs offensive sarcasm or stories of what not to do, I’m your gal! 
1 Like
Where do you live. If you don’t want to publicly post it you can message me. Promise I’m not a creeper.
Hi Diana. Welcome to this forum! It has been so important to me throughout my recovery. I can relate to your feelings about not really wanting to quit, but knowing you have to. People will say you can’t quit until you want to. They are right, but you can begin the recovery journey before you accept complete abstinence, and that is worth something. Let me tell you some highlights of my journey so far, and what I learned, because I didn’t want to quit either.
I started drinking a little in high school, and it just gradually increased over the next 20 years, until I was drinking everyday, and during the day. I slowly started suspecting I had a problem, and eventually, in September 2017, I mentioned it to the right doctor, who ordered liver tests and sent me to an outpatient recovery program. There, they diagnosed me with “severe alcoholism.” I was shocked. I knew I had a problem, but severe?? I was high functioning, and had not hit any rock bottoms. Liver enzymes came back: elevated, indicating damage.
But I was not ready to quit. My recovery therapist and I came up with a “control drinking” plan. I was “allowed” to drink 1 drink a night during the week, and 2 drinks each weekend night, and we would see if my liver function improved with that regiment. I did that, with pretty good success, for 6 months. But it was HARD. So hard to stick to my goals! In March, I went to a group therapy session, and heard stories that sounded like me. One guy told me I was trying to be a “better drunk.” After that meeting, I decided to quit completely. I had a last hurrah on 3/9, then quit 3/10. I have had one beer since then.
What I have learned:
- controlling drinking is a thousand times harder than quitting altogether. If you have a problem, abstain completely. It just doesn’t work to cut down.
- group therapy is powerful
- it is critical to get the alcohol out of the house
- it is critical to go into any alcohol-free to situation with a solid plan for what you are going to drink, what you will tell people about not drinking, what you will do if you are tempted, and how you will escape if it’s too much.
- if you drink because of stress, you have to replace drinking with another, healthier, coping mechanism.
- if you drink to celebrate, you need to replace drinking with another way of celebrating that is healthy.
- surround yourself with sober people and situations. I am lucky because a) my husband has decided to be sober with me, and b) I have some good friends who are willing to go sober when we hang out. If the people in your life drink, you must find new friends who are sober, and new activities to enjoy sober. Since 3/10, I have been around people who were drinking alcohol exactly 3 times. I did not drink at those parties. I have been out to dinner at a restaurant that serves alcohol exactly 3 times. I caved once, and had one beer. That lapse was because I did not plan for how to protect my sobriety.
- you have to vigilantly protect your sobriety, as if it were a newborn baby, at least in early sobriety. Do not put yourself in risky situations. That means stay away from alcohol. Do not spend time with anyone who threatens your sobriety in any way. If you must challenge yourself, have a plan!!!
Other people on here will urge you to find a program, like AA, SMART, or Women For Sobriety. I have not done that yet, but I’m looking into WFS. I do have my outpatient program though. In-person group therapy, be it AA or IOP is really important, so find something like that.
Sorry so long, hope I don’t sound lectury! Good luck.
Stay on this forum!
5 Likes
So well put. 
1 Like
@Ninetales Thank you for your great advice and for sharing your story. I’m open to any and all help!
1 Like
No problem. I’m far from having a lot of sobriety under my belt though. There are definitely people on this forum with longer times who have been through more challenges. Read, read, read posts on this forum. Ask for help when you need it. These people are great.
You are welcome! If you decide to stick around WFS, I am there with the same screen name 
.
1 Like