Day/one/rant/ramble

Life in Recovery
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Day one today, im generally fine during the day, a busy day to day life with young children keeps me busy.

When my mood suffers, and i feel low, or i am triggered i want to hide it anyway i can. The safest way for me so far has been smoking weed.

I cant afford to do this anymore, i dont want to keep masking my trauma. I need to deal with it. I need to learn healthy distractions to stop myself from masking up and pretending everything is fine.

No more hiding who i am to suit others and bending over backwards to stop the feeling of abandonment. Saying no and putting myself first.

Im tired of being taken advantage of and also supporting others with no support being given to me. Im tired of maintaining my own addiction and then having other people smoke my stuff for free. Im basically funding other people and loosing out on what ive paid for.

Im tired of feeling worthless.

Sorry for the random ish post i rant and ramble alot

Some part of me is hoping there may be at least 1 person that can relate so i just dont feel so alone anymore

Sorry

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I understand how you feel. Im almost 6 months sober from weed. Today is my first day sober of alcohol. Hang in there, get past the 2 week mark and that’s when I felt a true difference in mental fog and mood withdrawals from quitting weed. You got this, we’re in this together :muscle: Congrats on starting your journey :partying_face:

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And kudos for having the strength and willingness to want to get yourself clean. I’m a dad of twin toddlers which is incredibly hard work, so to have 3 children to look after must be tough. Keep checking in here and keep putting the effort in - we are only defeated when we stop trying

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I’m glad youre here and want to make the change. I’m almost 4 years clean from weed and alcohol. My husband has a prescription for it so we always have it here. I won’t lie to you, it does take strength for me to walk past it sometimes when I’m alone at home in my thoughts. Instead of smoking it i usually just go for a walk or pop in here when my cravings and stress gets to be too much.

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