Hi everyone, I’m a new member and on day one. Wine is ruining my life. The irony is that I grew up with an alcoholic father and swore blind that I would never be like him! I don’t drink everyday but most days. I drink to black out most Friday and Saturday nights. On Saturday I apparently tried to cook some pasta, fell asleep and my husband woke up to the fire alarms going off. I can’t remember it at all. Last weekend I told my own daughter to fuck off. The shame I feel is immense. Things are only going to keep getting worse. I’m tired of thinking about alcohol all day every day. I’m tired of wine being the only hobby in my life. I’m scared of this carrying on until I lose my marriage or job. Is is normal to think that you can’t do this? I’m scared that means that I’m not ready
How you feel is so normal. Youre just really ready for change and you want it right this second. Thats me too. I have quit opiates then suboxone and now I find myself more depressed and hopeless then I have ever been. Each day a new obstacle will come your way and you have to decide whether drink or not drink. And every time you say no it gets a little bit easier. Then before you know it you will look at that waiter giving shots to all your friends because a birthday celebration and youll tell that waiter youll have water instead. You can do this! I hope you have a great sober day and I’m sorry you feel so ashamed. I have been there and all you can do is show them that is not who you are anymore. Actions will speak!! Life is one big ass rollercoaster and you just fastened your belt for this crazy ass ride. Good luck! Youre in my thoughts and prayers!
Its totally normal. And only you can decide if you’re really ready to stop. I quit back in July for 30 days but then thought I could drink in moderation… It wasn’t long before one turned to two and I was back to blacking out and trying to hide my drinking. For me it was very clear I had to stop, my husband didn’t have to say anything I just knew… One more blackout and my marriage would be over and a custody battle would begin. My family would be torn apart and I would have no one to blame but myself. I’m on day 33 now truly commited… I still think of wine sometimes but when I think of what I have to gain by not drinking and what I could lose if I do it’s an easy Choice. Waking up from a blackout is the worst feeling ever… What did I do? What did I say? Who do I need to apologize to? I promise you will never wake up sober and say “Man I wish I had relapsed last night”. You will wake up every morning proud of your decision to stay sober. You can do it!
Thanks everyone. Currently watching Russel brand documentary about addiction. Just going to take it hour by hour!
Hiya Becca. The firsr day is the worst for most of us. The body is crying out for it’s fix. Jist be kind to yourself in the early days. Give yourself some kudos with each bad craving/thought that passes that you haven’t caved in to that litle bastard sitting on your shoulder egging you on to destroy your life. I know the shame can be intense but use it to your advantage as in you dont want to feel lile that ever again so you’re not gonna let the booze win an turn you into that person you dont like. Good luck love. Take one day at a time or one minute, one hour if need be. I promise you it’s worth it to have a good sleep an wake up hangover free with no bad feelings of what the feck did i do last night.
Im new here too. Ive had to reset my counter for amount of days sober a few times since i started jan 1. I dont have great advice. Because i havent figured out this sober thing yet. But…your story sounds familiar and you need to know that you are not alone. There are people who have gone through the same things and people who want to help. The question i ask myself is “what terrible consequence is going to make me want sobriety bad enough? At what cost?” Im still trying to figure this out.
Hey @Becca1. Welcome to this place! I don’t think that’s abnormal at all. About three weeks ago I was feeling the exact.same.way. I had finally had enough. I was tired of life and the way that I felt every single day. It was around the holidays so I had time off work and my every day drinking became every day starting at 11am drinking. Wine and champagne for me, i could just drink it all day. A couple mimosas before grocery shopping. Another one when I was unpacking. A couple more errands, and then another bottle or more of champagne and wine as I holed myself away in my house to get work done, clean, wrap presents etc. after a particularly stressful day. I wandered to my local watering hole for more and spent the entire night up drinking. The next day was an endless cycle of nausea, vomiting, laying on the floor and crawling to the couch to try to find something to watch that would make me forget how absolutely miserable I felt. If this sounds anything like you. I can tell you… that I’m now two weeks sober today! (Did one reset after three glasses of wine on New Years) and, this is not an exaggeration…
My life is already turning around.
I’m not saying it’s easy…but…I am feeling more energized, clear headed, not depressed, able to tackle the crap I need to do during the day. I’ve lost weight, my face looks healthier, I’m enjoying the things that used to drive me to the bottle )late work nights…I love my job, it’s just stressful…and time with family, and most importantly, I’ve cut the cycle of wake up hungover and unable to focus on anything other than how crappy I feel, struggle through the day giving it my most mediocre energy, feel drained at the end of the day, give myself the reward of bad food and a bottle of wine, crash out, wake up, rinse repeat.
It sounds like you’re ready for a change and we are here for you during it. Take it day by day. Take some time to REST. Even if you feel like a waste of space for a while. I watched so much tv in my first week I was like “is this all there is? You’ve become a tv junkie?!” But I realized…but brain and body just needed a little time to vegetate. Love yourself. Drink water. Drink tea and seltzer. Let yourself do whatever you want (other than drink of course;) and take it minute by minute if you have to. It IS worth it, even if you’re scared to take this first step.
All my Love,
ELY
Thank you so much. I was the same over the Christmas period- drinking from morning to night. It’s dawning on me how much time I spent drinking and what a waste of time it all is. I’m resting today, trying to eat well and stay positive. Thank you for the support and it’s so encouraging to hear that you are already feeling the benefit.
Funny, Russell Brand is the guy who inspired me to quit drinking. (Wine Mommy). I saw a clip of him reading a powerful passage from his book Recovery. I bought the book the next day, and quit that day too. I’m Day 67, and am going to Liverpool in March to see him on his tour. (Yes, a bit of a groupie).
Check out his book.
Here’s the clip that moved me to change:
What’s the link to this video?
I agree with everyone above. A podcast called Home may be helpful to you. Google Home sobriety podcast. They break down addiction and sobriety in a really straightforward and honest way. Theyre both recovering alcoholics and are open about their methods and the feelings they experienced as they grew. Kinda goofy but good info. Hope that helps a bit.
If I post the link, it just keeps posting the video, but if you click on the video, there is a way to copy the link…
Thanks. I’m reading the joy of being sober and I think she may have mentioned this podcast. I’ll definately check it out
Hi im also new here just had to reset my cou nter again its so hard but i know its going to be so worth it in the end and i really want to do this , hate thinking about wine all the time want my life back and to enjoy time with my family and do family things again without alcohol having to be there constantly
Welcome! You will find many like-minded souls here who want the freedom that only comes with sobriety. I also never want to waste another minute of time that I could be spending with my family. I realized that wasted time is lost. I thought, "when you know your time has come, what would you give to have all of those wasted minutes back? Time for one more hug from your daughter. One more minute to hold your wife’s hand. Another sunrise to watch or to laugh with joy?
I’ve spent too much time drunk and absent. Never again.
This sounds so much like me. I’m looking forward to making some changes. Good luck and congratulations on day 1. It’s mine, too. 
️
Thank you and good luck to you also im so glad i found this site all the encouragement really helps and knowing others are going through the same thing so you never feel like your alone
Hi…Welcome! Your story sounds much like mine. Wine was what I would drink and it was never everyday,usually closer to the end of the week or weekend. I also grew up with an alcoholic father which he passed away from alcohol in 2011. I always swore up and down that I would NEVER be like my father and would never put my kids through what I went through. First, thing you have to do is admit that you are an alcoholic and do need help. I’m starting over again and dealing tons of guilt for things I said/did, but don’t remember. My fiancé actually taped me this last time it was hard to watch that’s for sure,but a huge eye opener. You just like me have to stop the “cycle” start with us now! Hang in there…It will get better
Your story sounds very familiar. I haven’t gone more than 4 days without drinking in over 15 years. I would go on a 3 or 4 day binge, sometimes longer, then sober up for 3 or 4 days, then start the cycle again. I am now 20 days sober, no cravings, no desire to drink at all.
Please read the book “This Naked Mind”. Extremely well written; it looks at our relationship with alcohol…and how to transform it forever.
I’m not a meeting person, its just not me. I found this book very effective. It makes you think.
I know it’s just a book…but it was life changing for me.
Good luck and stay strong