On day three and it took me about ten resets to get here. Any advice on how to stay strong? Especially if others are drinking around me? It’s like once I get a few days in I forget how much it’s ruining me and my life. It’s so crazy. Any tips or tricks, I’m open to them all.
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Dont know if youve tried a meeting might help ,helped me stay sober wish you well
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Hi Jenny, I don’t know your situation, but here’s what works for me:
- Reading (a lot). Here on the forum, on the internet, books. Also watching videos about alcohol/sobriety.
- Reaching out. Talking to people, opening up. Here or in IRL.
- Writing. I kept an online diary the first couple of years here, recently I joined the daily check-in thread.
- Avoiding triggers in early sobriety. And being prepared what to say/do/drink while in a situation where alcohol is involved.
-And last but not least embracing being hangover free! Playing the tape forward: how will I feel tomorrow if I drink?
I had numerous relapses, I’m far from holy. But I understand what you’re going through. You can do it!
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Hi it must b hard if people are drinking around u.maybe a couple hours away or on Ur own might b good.maybe go for a walk n listen to music or even going somewhere U don’t need to go just to b on Ur own for a bit .good luck congrats on wanting recovery
My #1 tip would be stay away from situations where others are drinking alcohol in the early days or weeks of sobriety. Your willpower cannot overcome your addiction on its own every time, you will fall. Make it easier on yourself and give yourself a fighting chance. I’m 7 weeks’ sober and only just able to be around others drinking alcohol and definitely not ready to be in situations which revolve around alcohol (e.g. a bar with no sports on or games to play - the only reason to be there is to drink).
This is especially true in groups who are used to you consuming alcohol, unless you’re willing to open up with “I’m an alcoholic so please don’t offer me a drink”
Good luck!
Unfortunately there’s no tricks for sobriety. Just prolonged effort. I found that AA and the 12 steps, and spending time here every day is the most helpful. My first 6 months I spent hours a day focusing on my sobriety.
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I avoid these places like the plague at this point. Also since you remember now. Write everything down. Exactly how you feel, how you’re thinking, what you look like. And then revisit it, as you start feeling better. You won’t wanna go back.
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What others have advised is all good. Understanding what addiction really is helps me to stay focused on staying sober, there’s a lot of literature and podcasts and videos that can help with this. I understand being around alcohol does Not help. My husband is a heavy drinker so it’s around me 24/7. It definitely made it harder for me to get sober. But it is doable.
Everyone needs a sober toolkit. Sober tools are anything that helps you not drink. So maybe you need more tools. Lots of tools mentioned here, I think you’ll find more using the search button. Or be creative and find what works for you. Anything. That. Helps. You. Not. Drink.
I know your frustration . I was there too. I relapsed constantly, until I realized one tool I was missing was a community of people who are dealing with addiction too. It found it in TS. And it has helped get me to where I am now, over four months sober so far. I’m grateful for that!
Hope this helps. Be well,be strong, be kind to yourself. You can do this!
You’re here and asking for help & that to me says you’re willing & open minded. Tips- change everything you used to do. To stay the course requires change. Keep coming here daily, consider other forms of focus like AA, therapy, meditation, new healthy hobbies.
Oh, and when it comes to you, listening to you about drinking…don’t! And stay the hell out of bars, pubs, taverns, nightclubs and any other place where booze is common.
Lastly, today is a great day as long as you & I don’t drink and the beauty is we don’t have to!
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I am far from long term AF. And have had my share of relapses. But what is working for me this time is finding my reason. I identified a thing in my life that i wanted back but my alcoholism was hindering. I’ve got a reminder for it and every time i get a craving i try to remember that if i give in to that temptation, it only resets the clock on my goal.
Find your reason. The one that’s not worth losing again. And stay strong. One day at a time.
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I stopped counting my resets😜 Have you told anyone you want to be a non drinker? That has helped me somewhat-they help me hold myself to that goal.
Besides that I tell myself it’s ok to have a drink-just not today.
I don’t know what my long term goal is yet-just know that I don’t want to drink right now. Make it easier on yourself by setting short term goals.
Just a few of my tricks.
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4 months in and i very very carefully be choose the situations of alcohol. It is has to do with the people and the environment. If i am in a new place with less people i know i feel more anxious to want a drink and i leave. I am not an anxious person, but i do like to be involved and if there is drinking involved i wanna do it,
If i am around close friends they can be drinking all night and i never feel an urge and they are proud of me and get me ice for my non alcoholic drinks all night.
So i havent ventured out much to new situations but the places and people i choose to be around I must feel comfortable or i just dont go.