So since being laid off I help my parents take care of my grandfather who is in the end stages of dementia and severe Alzheimer’s. Needless to say it’s not a walk in the park. To add further enjoyment to this circus my father is recovering from spine surgery and my mother is beyond stressed. This usually puts me in the middle of peace talks and attempting to keep everyone somewhat calm. For the last week it’s been really insane and the only thing I want to do is pick up a drink and drown everything out. Luckily I have the self control to not destroy three years of sobriety. Guess what I’m getting at here is how do you guys cope with conflict outside of punching holes in things or having a drink? I’m a big fan of lifting and exercise but I’m not going to the gym every time gramps has a meltdown. Thanks everyone.
Shouldn’t we be asking you? You’ve made it three years. This situation you’re presently taking on is unique and beyond stressful. Stepping away and doing breathing exercises is what works for me when I’m having a wtf moment. It drops my heart rate and blood pressure back down and gets me away for a minute.
My secret to being sober for this long is being told I wouldn’t last. Sometimes being a hard headed mick works out. I’m just curious as to what others do to deal. Taking a breathrt definitely helps. Needed a walk today after my grandfather got aggressive with my father and my mother got in between. Tension gets high somedays.
I had 6 years from 2005-2011. I remember going through some major events (a fire, several deaths, etc) but nothing like you’re going through.
@thebeard1986 Honestly? I vent, putting it eloquently. To put it not so eloquently, I bitch and moan to others. I need to talk it out in order to really process everything. Otherwise I push it down into the sad depths of my mind and it festers, and pops up without warning in socially inappropriate ways. Counseling has helped me in the past too, but I was still drinking then. I guess what I’m saying, is you need a person or support group you can turn to when shit hits the fan.
A fire and deaths seem like they would take more of a toll than dealing with dimentia. If you don’t mind me asking are you back on the wagon? Six years is a long stretch
@Elisabeth don’t really have many people to vent to anymore. You’d be surprised how small your social circle gets when you quit drinking. I understand what you’re saying though. I find that spending time with my niece really helps. I’m kind of a loner so that doesn’t help either haha.
@thebeard1986 Yes, I’m definitely back into sobriety. I have 57 days today. My recovery is much stronger this time because I now have a respect for what I had and what can happen. I didn’t understand about the progression of the disease and the physical and mental obsession before. I sure do now. When I relapsed, it took me down further than ever. I had got complacent in sobriety and the 6 year relapse crushed my soul and humbled me. I don’t play games with my recovery now.
I personally find it helpful to do some pretend-punching holes in things, aka kickboxing. You can get lots of kickboxing videos for free on youtube. I love fitnessblender but there might be different ones you like. Less time out that going yo the gym, you dont have to abandon your family, but you can get some of your frustrations out.
3 years, wow. That is admirable stubbornness.
@Oliverjava I tried the guided meditation last night and my attention kept going elsewhere. I’m going to keep trying at bedtime and see where it takes me. It’s very difficult for me to get out of my own head. Thanks for the videos though, I’ll definitely keep at it.
@Melrm congrats on being back on the wagon. I’ve always told people that you have to want it. I’m glad you are in the mindset to keep at it. Good luck.
@blueroom I’m planning out a home gym and a heavy bag is part of it. I’m not that into kickboxing but I used to beat the shit out of the bag all the time and that helps. Have you ever used battle ropes? Those things will wear you out and make you forget what you were even mad at.
Thanks for the compliment, sometimes stubbornness is a good thing.