I Have been drinking the last few nights not getting drunk but having about 4-8 beers.
I was listening to a podcast yesterday by Joseph Clough he said that do not look at as a problem look at it as a challenge.
I also was doing a Dvd workout by Jillian Michaels she said that there is no such thing as perfect its practice.
Ive had past boyfriends before call me a drunk even though they are drinking all the time which is pretty hypocritical so I don’t understand why they have to make me feel bad.
Yesterday I just really felt like a beer after work and this boy I was seeing said Id prefer it if you didn’t drink in front of me as I have no money basically so cannot buy any and also he said he would get tempted to take hard drugs which i do not go near.
He said I understand if you don’t want to come over and everything was fine, then he had a bipolar episode and started fighting me through text calling me a c**t several times I have never been called this name in my life so I started calling him a fwit and dhead. we broke up over this but its just sad that this was all over having a beer and he had a couple that day anyway and fell asleep and woke up with a headache.
Anyway I guess I can’t cope with another Bipolar boyfriend as my last Ex fiance had bipolar and honestly I do not deserve to be called such disgusting names and treated like crap and then them say sorry its my bipolar. They don’t care is my hormones are playing up and Im acting like a bitch there worse towards me not helpful.
Ive decided to finally focus on myself this time instead of going out looking for boys.
I am aware of my drinking habits and I really don’t need to be told.
So I am challenging myself to give up the beers to prove to myself and shove it up these wanka boys that I am not a drunk im a good person. I think they know this deep down so don’t understand why they have to be so hurtful with there words and make me feel guilty always. I keep seeming to meet the same pothead guys anyway so maybe time to stop that.
Thanks for letting me rant on here. I know its a day to day thing but I do get a bit annoyed and hard on myself when I do drink just because I don’t need alcohol to have fun I just like to relax with a beer but I honestly have started like watching tv and movies its exciting for me now. I used to get excited for beer but now im excited to watch a interesting movie or listening to a podcast.
The only thing I do hate is having no friends, I do at work but we don’t really do anything outside work.
I joined that meet up app but most of the groups cost money to attend because I am going to Europe soon, I was thinking of joining the gym when I get back though and going to the library on my next day off for the first time in years. any other free suggestions ? I thought of beach, park, color wheel, books.
My mum and dad are my best friends and I live with my brother and I have 3 and they are my best friends too. My sister and I are not on the best terms at the moment so we are trying to work things out though but Im a bit scared cause she is a bit like my ex bfs thinks im a drunk and doesnt approach it the right way, my brothers are helpful there not judgemental.
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@Lucy Just breathe…all we have is today. Focus on getting and staying sober. Put dating on hold and put your sobriety before everything.
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@Lucy please try to remain calm and be kind to yourself. It would take me 10 sentences to sum up what @Melrm said in 3 short ones. I agree with her 100%.
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Thank you, I drank again last night too. I have ran out of money now so can’t afford it now.
Im going to do some yoga soon hopefully that will help.
Thanks again.
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Thanks John Im trying to be kind to myself. I shouldnt be so hard on myself your right.
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Drinking is expensive! 
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i know right! so is smoking!