I’m a week today, I have started thinking about stupid things I have done in the past and feeling so shameful and guilty over them, any tips on how to let go and accept ?
This used to happen to me fairly often. I would call my sponsor.
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Brene Brown has some super amazing talks (you tube, Audio books, books) on this very topics. World class thinking. Guilt is about behavior and can be motivational for change. Shame is about our negative thinking about ourselves as a person. that is automic habit of putting ourselves down is important to change.
We all experience the guilt and shame from our “past life” of addiction. Forgive yourself and do the hard but courageous work of self reflection. You are worth it
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I keep a gratuity journal… you can turn anything into a positive… every past experience was a learning lesson.
Here is a hypothetical.
Left a party drunk, decided to drive home, was swerving all over the road, aware of the fact you shouldn’t be driving, didn’t get pulled over this time, made it home without serious incident.
Gratuities
Made it home safe.
Didn’t hurt anyone else.
Feel bad/ shameful about it, likely to make a better decision next time, maybe even every time.
Helped realize there is a problem.
Brought awareness to how out of control drinking has made you.
I do this with every aspect of my life, I dont do it daily in writing but I like to at least think about it in my head daily. I’m happy if I take the action of writing some of it down at least once per week.
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I feel like we were typing at the same time and I inadvertently backed up your point lol.
Every behavior you feel shame about in your past is an opportunity to create an action plan on how to avoid that behavior in the future.
Even before I gave up drinking all together I had started making better choices.
Downloading uber app.
Consistantly utilizing uber app.
Hydrate my body
Excersise more
Give myself a curfew.
I started taking my power back by recognizing there was a problem and taking steps to fix it. You have clearly already taken some steps if you are a week sober.
That is something to be proud about for sure.
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Haha! Yes,the same point said differently! Thank you!
Thank you, the shame is more about what I did in front of other people or to other people that I tried to just black out. It’s the embarrassment of seeing that person and how they think of me, I hate this feeling ugh.
I have had those feelings too - and honestly it’s what is keeping me sober now! I don’t want to put myself in that place where I’m doing or saying dumb things that make me feel shame and regret, ever again. I 2nd Brene Brown - she has two great TED talks on YouTube, not too long, but they might resonate with you. Good luck.
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