Hi all,
I have a question regarding how to deal with the fear and thoughts of never to be able to use again once I’m clean. I know once I’m clean I can’t allow myself to relapse, because it means a long cycle of use that’s being started. But the thought of needing one more fix or day keeps taking over. This prevents me to really go for it again.
Does anybody relate to these thought and feelings? And what do you tell yourself to cope with these thoughts?
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Welcome @Koert! Glad you’re here!
Today is a great day to start your journey. Why put it off any longer?
What helps me is to stay in today. I know I can stay clean for just this 24 hours. I’ll worry about tomorrow when it gets here. Never picking up again in this life time is too much for anyone of us to consider. One day at a time. I haven’t relapsed yet but I know I have one in me, I just don’t think I have another recovery in me. All I know is this insidious disease wants me dead and I’m lucky it hasn’t taken me out yet. I can honestly say I love my clean life and I hope the same for you. If you get clean today, what do you got to lose? Nothing, right? But you got a lot to gain.
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Wisdom and truth! 
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Hello, welcome to the forum. I think you need to crystallise the essence of why you are here in the first place. You are worried or concerned about your using, right?
All yourself to write down every reason why you want to be sober. Go into detail, leave nothing spared.
That’s your mantra and reason, everyday.
Just do it. It’s better to fall than not try. We will be here for you either way
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Yes, I can relate. And I remind myself of the deep rooted lie within me…
Telling me that my DOC has value
The truth is my DOC has no value. It’s worth $0. It’s completely worthless. But that subconscious addict within me still thinks otherwise. But it’s helpful for me to know that I’m being lied to. And it is a lie.
Some resources that were helpful to me were Allen Carr’s Easy Way to Stop Smoking and Easy Way to Control Alcohol and Annie Grace’s This Naked Mind
Although, these resources don’t specifically apply to my DOC, I found the information very helpful because all of our DOC’s have a lot in common. And much of the information can be applied to all addictions
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Yes I can relate. I’m 37 days sober from alcohol. So far it’s been a horrible experience getting sober (I’m loving being sober, I’m not liking the process so far) anyway I have noted all the positives so far & I think back about them & how I’m either going to mess myself up really badly or actually kill myself through drinking if I go back to that place again.
I’m sleeping better, longer & good quality sleep. I’ve less anxiety. I’m more emotionally aware (this is where I’m struggling right now, it’s overwhelming) my thoughts are clearer, I’m exercising again, eating a bit healthier, my skin feels great. I’m still having some other problems, for example I’m finding it hard to concentrate for long periods but I know this will improve.
Every morning I pledge to myself to not drink that day & every night I message my sister with either a screenshot of my sober time or send her a voicemail.
For me for now it’s one day at a time. I’m not thinking too far into the future. Future Lisa can deal with tomorrow & the next day & the day after that 
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I prefer “never having to use again”. To never be controlled by a substance again sounds like a wonderful idea. Take back your life, you will not regret it. Welcome to TS friend 
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I wish I could “heart” this one twice.
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Welcome to the forum. I’m glad you found your way here, and hope you will stay, heal, learn, share and grow.
I remember being in what I call my “trying sobriety” phase. My DOC was alcohol. I’d quit for a time, and things would get better. Then I’d have one drink and before I knew it, I was right back to it…drinking every night. This phase went on for a couple years. Almost cost me everything good in my life. I remember thinking “It’s not fair that I can’t ever drink again. If being sober means I can’t drink again, then maybe I don’t want to be sober”.
Then I hit bottom, at least bottom for me. I knew that if I kept drinking, the love of my life would leave me. It would mean I’d only get to see our daughter on weekends. It would mean I’d eventually lose my job. It would mean I’d probably crawl into a bottle and drink until I died.
Yep. I could keep drinking, but I could see where the road ended, and I didn’t want that. Not.one.bit.
And I knew, deep down in my soul that I never wanted to drink, ever again. In that moment I became free.
It’s been over six years for me, and I’ve not had a single moment wishing I could still drink. I know that alcohol tried to kill me. I’ll never give it another chance to do so.
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Welcome and congrats on being sober 
May I ask whats your DOC?
Keep going 
ODAAT