So october 1st is the 1 year anniversary of my grandpa dieing. I’m dreading this day. September 1st was the anniversary of my nana’s death which I stupidly forgot about so but that was 2 years ago and all the emotions left in still kinda angry at the hospital but not as much. But since its only the 1st year and I feel so bad about my grandpa’s death its going to be hard and I’m scared I’m going to relaspe. I dont know how ill handle this one.
When I first came to the forum, it was my intention mainly to stay sober for the anniversary of my mother’s death. It’s a hard day for me; I was by her side for a very awful process of passing from pancreatic cancer. We might be inclined to drink to numb the pain on the anniversary; but I looked at it instead that I was honouring her by NOT drinking. She hated booze (my dad is an alcoholic). But even if she didn’t hate booze, I know she’d want me taking care of myself. She’d be proud. Use that thought that your grandpa is with you and he’d want you to be sober from your DOC. Think of it like a way to honour his memory. You may be sad, cry, reminisce; that’s hard. But healthier than numbing & burying our feelings. Thinking of you. You can do it! Hugs
Hey there, fellow Daniel! I’m saying this to you, not to minimize your pain, and not to scold.
Today is not October 1 last year.
Live today, fully and completely. Live in the right now, where everything is okay. You are warm and fed and safe. You have beautiful memories of Nana and Grandpa. In that way, in your memory and your heart, they are here now. My dear mother passed beyond my sight and hearing 5 years ago. I talk to her almost every day, and she helps me.
Live today well and truly. It’s the only time we can act to initiate a change. Blessings on you, son.
Daniel, @Salty and @SinceIAwoke have said it so well that all I’m going to add is that these feelings? They are there to be faced head on now! Work through them and you will be stronger for it. None of our family who have left us would be happy if they knew that we mourned their passing in this way. But they would be happy if they knew that you had worked through the pain and become a better person for it.
If you know in front that day is a difficult one and it is you can make a plan how to cope with that emotional day. My mother died a long time ago. In the first years after it I planned my way trough that day. So I kept myself busy and talked a lot about my emotions with others. Went to the church to light a candle for her.
Put your fridge full with nice food and alc. free drinks. So you have enough to eat and drink if cravings occur. If you need help: please come here, we’re right here for you
Like @Salty says: try honouring your grandpa by staying sober and remeber with clear mind what he meant to you.
Good of you to think of this before the day is there! You can do this!
Can you spend some time with friends talking about good memories you have of your grandpa? If that might be too difficult maybe a short walk? Think about good times had with him? It’s miserable missing a loved one, I understand. Focus on the positive of having him in your life instead of the negative of him being gone. For me, it took time after my grandpa and mother passed away but the pain lessens and only warm memories remain.