I’ve been gambling free since almost a year now but…there is an elephant in the room and it’s called debt. During the 7 years of complusive gambling I’ve managed to accumulate a lot of debt, most of it I owed to friends and quick loan companies with unimaginable interest rates. With exceeding in my sober time I now look at this as not only part of my gambling addiction, but a separate one as well. I’ve had several opportunities to clear my debt throughout the years and each time I accumulated new one, bigger than the last, one that I cannot possibly afford with my income. Needless to say, this rabbit hole is very deep and it’s a downward spiral. I have never been careful with spending and this dates back to my childhood, when all of my friends had savings except me. I’ve recently managed to improve my financial situation drastically with a lot of efforts and I’m scared that I still have urges to buy stuff I can’t possibly afford. I took actions and I use spelreadsheets to budget each month. I have three separate sheets, one for monthly income and loans, rent, bills, etc., one for shopping and other day-to-day expenses, one for upcoming events, like a calendar - they’re pretty neat and help a lot. My life has basically become formulas. Am I on the right track here? If anyone can relate to this, I would be grateful if you could share some insights on how do you manage your spending habits.
Those spreadsheets could help a lot of people in here.
Thank you for showing up and sharing yourself with us.
I want to responded to your question but desperately need to go to bed.
I too have monumental debt. (In my case, over 200k in student loans)
But before we address the topic at hand, can we just take a second to rethink the attitude we’re taking towards it?
I have a tendency to beat myself up for taking on these debts and also guilt for not being willing/able to pay them down.
But when I have these thoughts -and the accompanying emotions that go with them- it’s not really ME that I’m mad at, is it? It’s a much younger version of me, one that no longer exists.
And if meet a young person today, with similar ambitions, would I get mad at them or chastise them?
Probably not. Soo why treat a non existent version of myself worse than a stranger? This actually makes no sense.
Point being, if you don’t like your past self, don’t act like them. But also don’t pass judgement on today’s-you based on old-you shenanigans. Guilt serves no one when simple progress is our goal.
Tip #2 “perspective is everything”
Sometimes when we’re overwhelmed with how we see ourselves, it helps to pan out a bit a look at how we fit into our larger community or even society as a whole.
Debt is not YOUR problem, it’s OUR problem.
A quick Google search on the subject will tell you the better part of the nation is in over their heads.
You’re clearly not alone.
I think we can all temper our guilt and confusion by simply recognizing that the debt crisis is at epidemic scale. It’s not so simple or meager as a personal shortcoming. For most people, it’s practically an inevitable outcome.