Declutter your home and your life

[Faugxh]

Very inspiring!

Yday I listened to a podcast on hoarding and it all sounded completely normal to me from my parents’ house.

Both my grandad’s (who died 15 years ago) and my father’s garage are filled to the rafters w every piece of oily dirty metal scrap and lightbulbs old tools and spare parts and broken things and bits and bobs since the erection of the garages. They are basically unusuable. My dad struggles with aquiring big mechanical/technical things and then putting them somewhere. He’s onto building more storage space since his various barns, garages, basements etc are full. Yet he does not stop to look for technical “aides” to buy which he then never uses.

My parents have never thrown out any of our old childhood stuff and any gifts we gave them. It’s like nothing that enters that house must leave it again. It drives me nuts when I see random unused shit my dead grandmother “gifted” my mother in the 90s take up cupboard space. I remember my mother would be so annoyed at her mother bringing that cheap stuff into the house. Yet the nature of stuff dictates that you have to use it and get something out of it. It seems to have more weight than the human who struggles to get out from underneath all the stuff…

Me too I get very emotionally attached to things, and by far not just the good emotions. I get very confused and overhwelmed with items I feel that I should be using but am not. In the past this was bad. I think I was hoarding. In my dark years. One room of my 2 room flat was unusable. It’s now my main room and totally useable for a long time. I threw out and/or sold so many bags of clothing at one point in early sobriety… About 500books, stacks of old papers…

I want to remain on top of this problem and I find it easier than in the past to throw things out but still pretty hard.

My ex is the same as me. Our basement is ridiculously full. It reminds me of my dad’s garage. We cannot really enter it. we need to sort that shit out.

Thanks for bringing this thread back!

[AyBee]

Just this morning I decluttered my bowels and drove a brown clown to splash town.

Feel like a real weight has lifted

[erntedank]

You always crack me up @AyBee

[Merryshoes]

This is something of a Sisyphus situation for me too. I used to think that I was good at getting rid of things, but after two years of decluttering in fits and starts, and not getting the results that I thought I should be getting, I’m starting to see patterns. For one, I keep going over some areas (which are tidy, and airy, and just need occasional attention). For instance, my kitchen and bathroom. These two rooms are really good now, clutter-wise. Why? Because whenever I get the urge to declutter, I always start there. And again, why? Because it’s easy. Nothing that is in those rooms has any emotional hold on me. So I’ll go in there and work for a while, chuck some stuff, feel good about it, and stop.

You see where the problem might be, right?

Exactly. There are some areas in my flat I never get around to. No, actually, there are some areas in my flat that I actively avoid for decluttering. Our hall closet, where there is a box of ancient house linens from my grandmothers. The drawer thing in my office, whose deep bottom drawer is full of stuff, letters, cards, photos, from the past, including from my toxic ex, including friends who are no longer alive. All of that has been sitting there for years, I kid you not.

So, why do I do this? Why don’t I go there? What is it I fear?

I watched a video recently on Swedish death cleaning, and somehow the different perspective struck a chord. When these two last weeks of school are done, I might arm myself with its concepts and questions and tackle one of these problem areas, see how it goes.

Wishing you all clarity and energy for decluttering. Thanks for reading!

[erntedank]

Ah, the emotional decluttering I know it so well, I also have a lot of old stuff I’m emotional about.
When it’s still important to you, there’s no need to give it away. I can recommend organizing it. I did that several times and have lots of nice photoboxes and albums, cases where notebooks, calenders, birthday cards etc. are stored, two big boxes who are labeled “textile museum” and specially labelled racks for my “technical museum”.
New loved stuff like recently birthday cards on my 50th bday have a certain place where they go.
I threw away a lot when I organized this. It took time and was emotional but worth every effort

[RosaCanDo]

Well, I am elbows deep in some serious decluttering as I get settled in my new home and I’m proud to say I’m making great progress…finally! I have a growing donation pile and just this week filled several big trash bags full of junk. My biggest achievement this week has been to get my bedroom set up. My dresser drawers became vessels for transporting a lot of junk that I had to sort through and find homes for some things. Clothes were easier moved in luggage, plastic totes and trash bags so they ended up in piles on the floor. I’m not all the way there yet, but a deadline helped push me along - our mattress is being delivered today and we had to put together the bed frame we bought before then, which meant I had to get the room clear. And I did it! Here’s a before and after (mattress on the bed is the foam one we have been using on the floor, new mattress will be thicker and lovely). This before pic is even after I had put some work in!

Feels great so far. The bed frame also has drawers underneath which is really exciting for storage. Now to locate some bedside tables and hang some art! I’ll be looking at estate sales most likely before buying anything new to try and save some

[RosaCanDo]

Here’s my new bed!

Next up, sort through the clothes that have been haphazardly hung in closets and trash/donate piles will begin again. Some clothes really are garbage but I’ve looked into recycling programs for textiles.

[Faugxh]

Way to go @RosaCanDo! Amazing progress and new place looks saw the matress too on another thread and it too looks Congrats! What’s next?

I had planned to declutter and reorganise and partly repaint my flat in prep for my new life when I study again and also after separating from my longterm partner. I was super overwhelmed with it all but I got over myself and consulted that Marie Kondo stuff I sneezed at when it was all the rage years ago. I’m still highly criticial of lifestyle hype crazes in geberal and throwaway mentality if it just results in buying shit again.
But I have a huge probelm with: using things that are old and ugly and uncomfortable and saving up the newer/“good”/more expensive/nicer/whole versions I already own to the detriment of my overall joy/feet and general health/home organisation/not looking like a bum; also detaching from sentimental items of all categories (some of my dresses I hadn’t worn in 10years and would never again, but the memories!, so many others are oh so beautiful vintage things but don’t fit this bigger body I have now no more…). I accumulate waste in my house in the spirit of not letting anything go to waste.
In active addiction, the way I (and my equally sick bf) lived could be classified as hoarding, for sure. I’m not proud of this. It’s gotten way way way better.

I’m not going to show you the piles I’ve sorted through last week (yes, with the Marie Kondo method, fuck off) cos I’m embarrassed - but here are six bags of clothing and shoes I’ve said good bye to. They got donated, obvs. This isn’t the first time I’ve significantly culled my textile belongings, but this was by far the most satisfying/least painful/least stressful. Thanks to the strategies I used.

Next leg of this undertaking: books. Got one big books shelf and one other single shelf next door and a few cookbooks in the kitchen and a few piles round the house. The bf and I already got rid of excatly 50% of our 1000 books (I counted and set a rate) in my last (=first) tidying a few years ago. And he took most of his w him when we split up recently. So, should be doable today. Wish me luck!

[ChrisJ94]

So my Fiance (who’s the tidy organized one) would die laughing if she knew I was giving advice on decluttering

…but I think back to a Finance book I checked out a while ago that talked about Assets & Liabilities…this could totally apply to your situation.

When clearing out you could apply this strategy:
Is the item going to be a help (Asset) or a hinderance (Liability).

Assets:

• Makes your home life easier
• Has a positive effect on your Mental Health
• Looks nice
• Money Maker (keep only to sell)
• Sentimental value
• You’ll use it within the next month or so

Liabilities

• Random nik naks
• Has a negative impact on your mental health
• takes up unneccesary space
• You wont use it in the next month or so

Try and avoid taking too much time to make each decision as if you’re inclined to keep unnecessary things, your brain will always find an excuse

Totally spitballing here but hope this helps!

[RosaCanDo]

Excellent work! That’s all a big deal. My next project is also clothes but I am lucky that I did go through the Marie Kondo phase when it came out on Netflix and I pared down my closet. I just need to do a reorg after this move and will have to figure out a method for seasons, putting winter stuff somewhere and a plan for summer items when the time comes. I have plenty of storage space here but very little closet space. At first I was really bummed about that but I’m trying to have a better attitude and stay creative.

We used to have that level of books but when we moved from Arizona to the Midwest we donated about half of our collection. Books are hard to move, so so heavy. I cried. But I got over it.

The next thing I might cry about is my kitchen. I really need to downsize my supplies.

[Faugxh]

Love your idea in general, and I think that’s the whole Mari Kondo thing too, basically asset = joy in any way. If it brings your joy in any way, that’s an asset and that can be cos it’s beautiful, useful, sparks nice memories, your fav go to thing, whatever, many possible ways.

@ChrisJ94

within the next month or so

This I disagree w. This leads to throwing shit out and then rebuying it. I mean just think of hillwalking or skying or whatever. Not everything that’s important to us we get to do all the time.

Thanks for your input! Now go sort something!

[RosaCanDo]

Yeah, I have knitting and craft stuff I haven’t used I years but I would never part with that collection.

[RosaCanDo]

I was going to add…my mom has been giving me stuff she kept “for me” including dresses I wore at special events when I was a child. I still can’t let those go but I did donate my high school prom dresses/skirts that she kept. That was hard because I had them for a few years but I finally did let them go. It really was liberating. I do still have a few totes of things I am not willing to let go of.

[ChrisJ94]

100% agree with your critique here! That’s something that didnt even cross my mind

Haha! I shall do

[MrsOdh]

I have one general rule. I don’t have anything that I need to dust frequently.
We have a few paintings (Well honestly it’s a wall of different religious items,Ironic I know)

And some candle holders that we use everyday, changing with season.

That’s it. Of it doesn’t have a purpose other than collecting dust I don’t keep it, or keep it up. I refuse to use my spare time cleaning and dusting.

[Faugxh]

Right guys, so I was a real trooper yday and finished my books in one go. again, the last time we did this, this took several days and was so much harder emotionally. this time, I feel there were many books I could let go even if these had already been chosen once a few years back…

still I am not happy somehow. I think a good few slipped through that I am holding onto for the wrong reasons (couldn’t bother reading this yet but might still! might need this subject one time in the future!) and it’s dissatisfying for me. but that’s perfectionism talking and it needs to stfu.

I am going to send 106 books of for sale once my printer is done with having its cramps. and carry about as many again off to the used book shop for donation once my hoarding prone ex (ja, da one!) is done going through my carefully packed bags once more as he requested when I was almost done, whereas he before said he wouldn’t need to, he’d taken what was his (which is mostly true). which might also be why I am dissatisfied today. to put in so much work but then gotta still leave the mess around for someone else while you’re also having a fight with them cos they broke your heart, it’s just not satisfying.

ugh. Imma carry some book boxes now. maybe that’ll make me feel a bit better.

Big shelf before.

All the books ready for sorting.

[Olivia]

[RosaCanDo]

That’s all a big deal! Huge effort. Well done. I can see it’s a process and since you’re not the only one in the process that can be frustrating, to say the least. I am not feeling very motivated today at all, but I know I can finish one project I have being working on the last couple days and that’s putting away clean linens and do a couple more loads of laundry. We used linens to protect breakables in the move and I’m almost finished cleaning them all.

[MrsOdh]

I actually throwed out my bra for real in like December. I felt like I couldn’t breath like everyday. And accidentally I stumbled on an article saying that might be the reason. So I tried. Feels much better. (I do have non wired sports bras that I use at work)

So there’s actually some truths in this meme.

[TrustyBird]

Books are hard for me to part with too. Well done!