On day 73 of sobriety… I feel too young to be doing this. I am terrified of the same things I was as a drunk to but now taking action. My depression is just going up since I got out of rehab. Having lots of SI a and I thought sobriety might make that better but things seem to be not getting better but even more worse off than before. Idk how to deal with this. I feel like I’m better off un a l I v e.
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Hey, just like drinking never fixed our problems, suicide won’t either, I know. The time is now to get out of your head. A walk, a song, writing down your feelings, puzzles. It can help. You are valid and great, always. And, 73 days is badassery. Hugs!
And there’s a national crisis line you can call: 8002738255 or text 988.
Keep walking this sober path with me & the rest. It pays off every day cause we get healthier and happier. No lie
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Way to go on those 73 days! Great achievement. Give yourself some grace, getting and staying sober is a big adjustment. A marathon not a sprint. Don’t expect to have it all fall into place straight away.
Do you have any support in place for your mental health? Doctors, friends, sobriety groups, meds? Having help is so important. None of us have to do this alone.
Keep doing the next right thing a minute, hour, day at a time. It won’t be like this forever 
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Re: your comment that you are too young for this. I’ve had lots of “why me” moments re: addiction. And at 62 the only thing I can come up with is “everyone has something”. And if you “have” addiction it is not going away. So, how amazing is it that you are facing it young! So many people struggle for years then realize they have to deal with their addiction. As Siand asked…do you have support and resources?? Use them! Your life can be amazing. Suicide is rather permanent. There are so many better ways!! Stick around. This place is great. And speaking of great…73 days!!!
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Becoming sober doesn’t solve our problems. But it’s the first condition on working on them. And yes, our problems really come into focus once we take away the covering blanket of substance abuse. I’m very proud of you for facing up to real life when still young. It took me till my fifties to take that step. Huge congrats on 73 days. Keep going and get some help. We can’t do it alone. Big hugs and much love friend.
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Congrats on 73 days.! Just remember, this too shall pass! I concur with everyone on here that it’s admirable that you are doing it at a young age. I think I can speak for many people here is that my only regret is I didn’t do this sooner! You have your whole life in front of you. I know when I’m depressed the last thing I feel like doing is any sort of exercise but man does it help! Keep up the good work and we are all here for you!
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I can relate to this on every level. A permanent solution to temporary problems is not the answer, staying busy or trying to find ways to remain grounded can help even if just for a little while.
Please, if you do decide to contact a suicide help line or resource do not use 988. It will contact the police and can end with an even worse outcome, including involuntary treatments or isolation.
Posting here can serve as a good distraction as well. This community is extremely supportive and we all want to be a part of each other’s continued success. I’m right here with you feeling like it’s a losing battle or just constant trudgeery, but everyday we remain here is a victory in its own right 
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Please note that 988 is the alternative to calling 911 during a mental health crisis, substance or suicide crises . 988 does not route to the police, it routes to mental health services.
988 was created SPECIFICALLY to connect those in crisis with trained mental health counselors versus 911 which involves the police.
I found NAMIs (National Alliance for Mental Illness) information particularly helpful …as well as their suggestions for improvements. See more here…
https://nami.org/Advocacy/Crisis-Intervention/988-Reimagining-Crisis-Response
Additional FAQs on 988 here…
On whether calls are routed to 911…
“Currently, a small percentage of Lifeline calls require activation of the 911 system when there is imminent risk to someone’s life that cannot be reduced during the Lifeline call. In these cases, the crisis counselor shares information with 911 that is crucial to saving the caller’s life.”
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Thank you this helped a bit. I wish I got the “pink cloud” but it’s just rough
I don’t have anymore insurance to get the help and about to run out of all my meds bc no insurance
I am so sorry you’re in this predicament with insurance and meds. Come on here for support. There is always someone available to chat and help through whatever might be going on. Like someone else mentioned sometimes writing out our thoughts can help us, walks have been brilliant for so many here. Sun has a natural benefits.
see them below
Sunlight is essential for human health and well-being.
The health benefits of sunlight include generating the production of vitamin D, supporting bone health, lowering blood pressure, preventing disease, and promoting good mental health.
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Sobriety will get better. I suggest you go to the gym or go hiking. Make you feel better inside. I have one year nine months of sobriety. Best thing I have done for my spirit and Soul. Merry Christmas 
and Happy New Year 