I also love John Cleese, and Life of Brian is one of my favourite films. 
I definitely don’t think you personally are appallingly dull - far from it - but I was looking for a clip that was funny and touched on the, how shall we say, classically British range of emotions. I mean, even the classic “stiff upper lip” is based on what? Enduring suffering.
Keep calm and fan on through this heat wave 
Omg this made me laugh.
This dance is becoming a ballroom dance.
Hi, there. You say you were “sober”, but you failed to work a recovery program daily. Being “sober” is not being “in recovery”. White knuckling it for 10 years is like being an amateur and walking a tightrope over two skyscrapers without a safety net. I’ve been in continuous recovery for over 28 years for one big reason: 12 Step meetings and working and living a recovery program every day.
Without my Program and an interest in a spiritual life, I’d be just another nervous walking disaster area with a messy life and fleeting joy and satisfaction in life.
How do you know she was white knuckling it may I ask I use 12 step meetings but people can get sober without them it’s not the only way not everyone who is sober and not using 12 step recovery meetings is miserable
like you i have been working the program into my life for a few decades now and its made my recovery a lot easier with the steps. , if people can stay sober long time without it then thats fine but i use AA and it worked for me from first meeting to today , nice meeting you Heater.
Both ASAM and Terrence Gorski reported many years ago based on longitudinal studies that number one, only 2% (two percent) of alcoholics and drug addicts remain off mind altering substances past the two year milestone. So odds are stacked against you and you need all the insurance against relapse you cam find. Of those who are still abstinent past that milestone, the ONLY common denominator among them was regular attendance in 12 Step or spiritual (such as church) recovery programs. When you find scientific proof that contradicts this conclusion, get back to me.
So there is no one sober for longer than 2 years who hasn’t worked a program or gone to church??
AA keeps me sober but that’s a bold statement.
There are people on here with more than two years sober that haven’t taken the AA or church route but actively work on their sobriety 
Not scientific evidence - its a fact of life.
Agreed! 4.5 years sober here without AA or a similar group. For me if I had to try to start figuring out what keeps me sober (so that we can find the overarching threads of what helps maintain long term sobriety), I’d say that it came down to probably more than a few things…but pre-coffee, this is what I got:
I did have that MOMENT where I realized I was killing myself, looked in the mirror and said “no more….this has to stop”
I read a ton of books on sobriety. “In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts” by Dr. Gabor Matè, Alan Carr’s “Easy Way to Control Alcohol”, Russell Brand’s Recovery and also myriad drug and alcohol recovery memoirs were all really helpful in helping me understand my addiction
sobriety was not a hope or wish, it was my full time job.
this app. I was on it a ton in the beginning and regularly today. Reading, posting, staying connected
meditation and restorative yoga. I know that we are selfish assholes in active addiction, but I’ve also found that, at least for some of us, our addiction is born from both really negative self image and care as well as underlying anxiety or depression. These two practices have helped me to address my own self loathing to begin loving and caring for myself as well as providing me with tools to manage the underlying anxiety that made my life unmanageable enough to want to drink and use drugs back in the day.
I am a teacher, and being of service to others as much as I can in any given day helps me pay forward the gifts of my sobriety
I’m sure there are others, but I think this is a good start. I love anything that helps someone get sober…and I think the broader our understanding of what works, the easier it is to see that there are sobriety paths out there for anyone that wants. They need not be subscribing to something that doesn’t feel right if it doesn’t feel right. I had an AA-er tell me in early sobriety that I had no fucking chance without AA as my recovery program. I never told him…but it threw me into a momentary bout of despair so early in my search for sobriety. To this day I haven’t ruled out going to AA, particularly if I relapse or begin fantasizing about drinking or using.
But at the time, I had a few legitimately negative experiences with AA people that turned me off choosing that path, and his comment made me feel as though I was hopeless and would die from addiction. I am very glad I didn’t listen to this person, as I think they were a bit angry, resentful and blinded by their own shit (aren’t we all?), but words have power, and I Want to use mine to let people know that long-term sobriety is possible in a lot of different ways through a lot of different paths. I think the most important ingredient is a 100% commitment.
There’s a lot of back-and-forth on here, and a lot of people who chime in to say they hate AA. I try to engage in these conversations as little as possible, and really only to support AA as I think that it has done amazing and immeasurable things for our world. But… Since it is so polarizing, I do think it’s helpful to discuss the over arching tenants of what helps people get and stay sober, To help those that for whatever reason find an AA path to be an impossibility.
Have an amazing sober day everyone❤️
EDIT: went back to make sense of everything by correcting some of the MANY typos 
post coffee of course 
Wow! Incredible post. One size does not fit all. AA Is a great place to start. But it is not for everybody. I had a similar experience as you. I missed a day because I went and signed up to get a gym membership. When I came back the next day proud that I had a gym membership I basically was attacked like a kid who missed wrestling practice the day before. But just as Craig Ferguson said, there are meetings available all over the world, they don’t cost a thing, and they are very close to the beginning of the phonebook.
Thank you so much for your well-thought-out and considered reply. I have had great times in AA and have met some lovely people but there are also those who can get very dogmatic about it as if it is the only way, it’s those people who make me run for the hills.
The truth that I found, is there is no black and white with recovery, there is as you say, commitment and love for ourselves and others, which includes a lack of judgement for other people’s journey to wellness. I too meditate daily and find that helps more than anything else but I wouldn’t tell someone else that is what they MUST do.
AA has such strength and goodness within it as do other methods. I was sober for 10 years and I promise I wasn’t white-knuckling at all, I was loving life, However, I ran away from AA because a dogmatic, self-righteous person was mean to me saying I didn’t have a chance, just like what happened to you.
I just think in a world where it is so easy to criticise and point out someone’s shortcomings we need to stick together and support everyone who is trying to live a happy sober life. Go on any forum for anything from parenting to cars there are always those that want to sling mud, that’s life I guess.
Thank you so much for being kind and congratulations on your sobriety.
Oh wow, that could have derailed you.
Wow, erm thanks for your support, I think. However, I wasn’t white knuckling it at all, I was living my best life. My life wasn’t messy it was full of joy and satisfaction. I’m happy that you have had a wonderful 28 years in recovery. You might not have meant it, I’m sure you didn’t but your message came across as agressive and judgemental. I hope that you weren’t berating me becasue that doesn’t quite chime with the spiritual way that you profess to be following.
Never mind I’m sober today and have been for since I first came to this forum, it is a great place to be but sometimes as with all forums it can stir up emotion.
Being “sober” is not the same as being “in recovery”. Glad you resumed 12 Step meetings. Hope you get at least a temporary sponsor at one of your meetings.
Now you’re just trying to manufacture an argument. I’m not going there.
I stated facts. Read the last portion of my prior response. I’m not going to humor someone who has no medical or scientific facts to support themselves. Have you had an assessment by a substance use disorder licensed professional? Go get one and have this argument with them.
It’s this sort of attitude that keeps people away from AA, I do go to AA and not once have I ever filled out a survey or even had a follow up call from my rehab to see if I’ve relapsed so I personally don’t base a lot of emphasis on stats and facts
I’ve also witnessed people in AA with “long term” recovery talk about recovery in their shares and treat other like absolute shit the minute the leave the meeting.
