So is it like YouTube?
Unlisted = Direct link only, can’t find through search or magnifying glass. All links for following, blocking, notifications, etc. terminated.
Listed = Wide open public, free to follow, block, request notifications.
Not sure of the specifics, the forum runs on Discourse though if you wanted to look into it more.
Ego boosting generic resposes to people in crisis… ‘stay strong, you can do this’ etc etc etc…
Don’t bother
Moved to the derailment void as it didn’t seem to fit in the thread where you posted it - where there has been lots of ongoing support and empathy as well as practical advice.
I would also say that it can be quite hard for people to give much more than generic responses in this kind of setting. Often we get presented with a small snapshot of someone’s life and it’s hard to give practical suggestions in response.
Some people are quite happy to receive general words of encouragement and a small bit of empathy or care. Others want or need more, prefer tough love, etc. Some people do find that here but others feel they need more of the support that’s available offline - through in person recovery networks, therapy, friends and family, other groups and activities etc. Everyone just has to find the thing that works for them. Hope you find what you need to get you through!
Because you know it all, right? Saw your remark on the other thread this morning, too. “Ego boosting generic resposes to people in crisis… ‘stay strong, you can do this’ etc etc etc…Don’t bother”
Cut the passive-aggressive bullshit. There’s the “tough love”/hardline approach, and then there’s just being an ass.
This guy has been drinking for 15 years. He needs medical help. The same old, tired AA comments are unhelpful.
And this was helpful? You offered nothing beyond that.
There’s no need for discrediting other people’s input just because you personally find it unhelpful.
Anyhow. I’ve said my piece. Think about it
No doubt your comments will be liked by the forum Clique and mine will be ignored. This forum needs a complete overhaul. It’s become a forum to like each others photos and tell people of the Clique how great they are. It’s become Instagram for addicts .
You’re in need of a 12 step program to get rid of your resentments Mike
Good one
Take what you need , and leave the rest. There is plenty to take on here. So much useful help, advice, support and genuine care. Leave what does not resonate with you.
Maybe they’re still used after decades because they actually work . I’m also more of a tough love person. But criticising someone else’s advice has nothing to do with tough love. There are multiple approaches to the same goal. Heck, this week I’ve learned that even the temple of Satan has an approach to recovery
Temple of Satan eh? I might just give that a shot. I can imagine that the consequences of a relapse would be both swift and severe. Sign me up!
I seen the temple of satan church on my news channel here in oz. It was a segment on the members of there church trying to get schools to start teaching there curriculum. Then I seen Derrick on here post that they have a sobriety chapter. I googled the website to see what they were about. It wasnt anything crazy. A lot more normal than id assumed lol.
Just do the 12 steps and all will be well.
The forum is a free place to be, all walks of life, different parts of their journey. Does it need an overhaul…maybe. However, I was free to come here, not forced. If it doesnt meet my needs, or I disagree with its content…I am free to leave. I have kept in contact with roughly 20 people that left the forum for various reasons. Some were “tough loved” right out of here. Some are doing well, some are not.
The thing is, this is the internet…we really dont know each other. We dont know if the person posting is at their breaking point, if tears are streaming down their face.
What we do know about tough love, yes I have degrees in pyschology…is that it works best between 2 people that actually know each other.
We all help to the best of our ability. If someone doesnt like my approach, then…I let them move on. It’s hard for me to get into someone’s head after reading a post or two of theirs.
The moral of the story…we all just need to do our best, and let disagreements on aproach fall away. There are enough viewpoints on here, if we keep people coming back, they will gravitate to who speaks to them.
Good morning derailment void!
They also preach equality and helping others. Watch the documentary on Hulu called Hail Satan. I was thoroughly impressed!
Beautifully stated @Thirdmonkey and also @siand.
I hear you @Mike2412 that you find the forum needing an overhaul and too cliquey and that people are not receiving the advice you would offer. We do all bring our own unique perspective and life experiences to the forum, so there will be just as many opinions and advice. That is okay. It is an internet forum, not a therapists office. We are all just humans sharing our experience, just like you.
I find myself interacting more with members whose story and approach resonate for me and help me feel supported. Tho I also have learned a lot and have just as much respect for those who approach life differently…even as I may butt heads with them.
In any case, I hope everyone is enjoying a sober day.