ever feel like a Mad Scientist(Meaning you where always trying to do the math so you would have the perfect buzz. This many shots, blank hours before/after you eat, etc.)?
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So true. So true.
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Yup, so true
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More of a mathematician 
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The timing. Not get a perfect buzz but to not blackout. Shot 1at 6 pm, ok I get another shot at 7, ok no 630 i took a shot, no more shots till 8, yeah right ok another little swig at 645, another swig at 7, oh shit it’s almost gone I better open a beer. Oh shit I did 4 shots and a beer in an hour. I’m gonna be hating life tomorrow. God it was exhausting.
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Too bad I didn’t put as much time and effort into going to work as I did calculating my buzz or coming up with the most ridiculous alibis.
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I mainly used to drink on an empty stomach and alone. I didnt want to drink if i had a big meal as it didnt give me the desired effect of being totally blottoed.
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I am with you there.
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It’s pretty messed up really isnt it. The lengths we went to.
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Very much so.
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I’m forever having to edit haha I should put me glasses on.
It’s still early days for me so I’ve not really had any bad cravings yet. I know that monster voice will speak up at some point and beg me to go the shop. But I’m ready for it as mucb as i can be. . My husband has 3/4s of a bottle of Bacardi in the cupboard since christmas. If that was mine it would all be long gone. I’m sure he is surprised that i haven’t touched it. I’ve not told him I’ve gave up. I doubt he would believe me. So actions speak louder than words. 
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My math was more “I have to pick my kids up at x o’clock so I need to stop drinking by y o’clock so I’m not drunk when I get in the car”. 
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Yep…all the time. There’s even an app I would use to calculate my BAC based on how much, of what kind, over how long I had consumed…all to make myself feel better and more “responsible” about it.
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I was always worried I would run out…did a lot of calculations to make sure there was enough…then of course, someone would come by unannounced for beers and mess my numbers up and I’d have to place a door dash booze order 
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we make life so hard with these addictions
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ive blacked out and walked across an entire city to get drugs and alchohol, horrible memories
Lol oh ya, done that plenty. Down to a messed up science. 2 bottles of this, a can of that, this pill, and some pizza.
Even the side effects, of what type of drunk I wanted to be that night. Oh god it was pathetic.
This one makes me philosophical, this ones for the giggles, that’s to fight bears, this blend lets me speak French… and then there’s the brain bleach for when i don’t need to think.
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Hah, sorry, no interlock experience here! But I definitely took plenty of the long distance drunk walks in my younger drunken days. Uber and DoorDash have just made it way too freakin easy to get plastered and not have to worry about transportation. They actually enable drunks to sit at home and have more delivered to their doorstep when they’ve had too much. I found that if I was going out with an Uber, I’d end up getting tanked before I even left the house…ughhh
OMG! This topic has so much truth to it— and no one else would get it unless they are in this tribe. I had an interlock for five years and I went to extentive lengths to maintain my steady heavy drinking lifestyle while working a day job. I would wake up 3 hours earlier to get a run in - even in the pouring raisin- so I could bring my blood alcohol level down so i could drive My car to work! I had 2 breathalyzers in case one went out on me. I hadn’t seen the night time city skyline in years cause I never went anywhere at night. I was home drinking. When I got that thing off I went crazy drinking! Within 8 months I hit my Rock bottom and finally got sober. I allowed my life to be SO complicated!
Does a few sips of a drink after your 30 days mean a relapse and start over?