Yes, it is, so, so, so hard. Not because I like it. I don’t. I don’t even like buzzes. I like being sober. My homie says, do not even talk about stopping any more because you are not going to stop. I attended an AAA meeting with a friend.
I go for X amount of time sober. Then physical pain which pain meds barely disguise, and spiritual and emotional anguish overwhelm me…I know relief is sitting in that bottle. I know my language may seem dramatic but…certain things are dramatic in nature. Like the emotional anguish. And it is not over myself, not a bit. It is over my loved one who suffered so much more than I ever did. I realise that this alcohol is not the answer at ALL. The relief is transient. Well, so are the sick episodes afterwards. But the overall effects of it are a pall hovering over one,s existence… Here I am with yet another reset. My homie’s comment sort of heightened my determination to fight this dragon.
You’re right, the “relief” in alcohol is an illusion. It’s like locking myself in a prison cell, just to keep myself safe from a driving accident. Yes, being in a cell would keep me safe from a driving accident, but… wouldn’t it be better to just learn to be a safe driver? Or even to use bicycles and walk, and not drive at all. Why do I need the prison cell? I don’t. 
Please remember, not everyone gets another relapse… this is life and death.
I can barely manage to make three days most weeks but I heard in NA group once “just keep coming back” so that’s what I do until I’m happy with the way I’m living. Idk why but I’m sure I’ll get there one day and all of you who read this will to. From this point forward always know I’m in your corner
Thank you. I am in your corner too.
7 months clean from prescribed pain pills. I still suffer the pain without the addiction. Never in my like would I have thought something like that would happen to me.
Keep fighting.
Bro that was so real it gave me goosebumps.
Good to hear that the drug is getting tired of you also. Not enjoying the buzzes was a huge start for me. Always come back and I hope that you build some days because it will get easier.
Surviving in the grips of addiction/alcoholism was the most difficult thing i ever did.I dont know about anyone else but i was all gas no breaks.I went till i passed out woke up ready to do it again.The worse is really wanting to accomplish something,i mean anything like eating for the day,but needing “a wake up” or to “get my mind right” or “my medicine” before I could go out and face the world except I spent my last $5 and whatever it was that i did was short,bunk,or just didnt hit the way i thought it would and now i had to figure out again how i was going to get off E,eat,and i spent all day week doing the same shit just knowing this hit or sip was going to be the one i needed to go get er done,but i would only pass out before any of that happened thus never accomplishing anything but one suicide mission after the other and obviously i couldnt even do that right…
This reminder on a daily basis and hearing others that have the same identification as i do is what helps me from giving in to the lies my alcoholism/addiction tells me.This helps me remeber that soon as i pick up anything it never gets better only worste and that noone is causing my misery but me at that 
point.From my experience it is easier to stay sober than it is to get sober because i dont need to think or make up excuses to stay sober.It only makes sense so much so countless others around the world deliver the same basic message no matter the label AA,NA,CA,SA Keep it simple,keep coming back it works if you work it if it didnt then why are we still working it,call someone before not after you pick up,one day at a time if that doesnt work one second one minute or dont even torture yourself by thinking of time lines just not now maybe later,stick with the winners and relapse doesnt have to be apart of your story,Hold on to your seat We always have another run in Us but making it back isnt guarenteed for anyone.One slip of the wrong shit and instead of advice we would be writing in Loving Memory…it is that serious