Now I’m back from holiday I noticed that I have been walking on eggshells during the holiday. If you travel and are depressed you take yourself with you. I knew that, but it didn’t do no good “not able” to show my emotions. I didn’t want my son and his mother to notice the true nature of my current situation. Maybe the setting with the three of us was not briljant as well, last year went fine since I was in a total different headspace.
Coming home revealed my emotions almost immediately. Tears came up. Next to this my parents came for a visit. My emotions came up again, and my mother wiped them away. My father silent as ever. Giving me the same old neglect of my feelings. Sometimes I think it’s just better to break the contact.
I stop here, might write more later. It’s all to much at the moment. So longing for someone to talk to without getting into the drama and just listens….
