I was so fucking close to two years, was gonna tell my family about it when it came to that point and tell them how much better I’m doing but it just didn’t come down to it. Life got too hard so instead of doing the thing I don’t want to do I cut again. I hate that I can even type this without it seeming like an actual problem but it is. I just got this overwhelming feeling in my head that was saying to do it, so I did I took the only sharp think I knew was around and just went for it. I don’t feel loved but I know someone out there loves me I don’t know who but someone does. I will try to get better for my family and for them. Hate the way I feel…
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You didn’t fail or lose those two years—that’s a fantastic achievement you can still be proud of. So turn around this relapse and don’t fall into a rut or surrender to those voices. Stay strong. You are loved.
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I’m sorry you are having a hard time. You did not lose two years. You have today, and today is a good day to take excellent care of yourself. I wish you peace.
Be proud of the two years. Don’t hate youre self. You are loved I am sure of it. Stay strong
Forever is a long time for me. It helps me to keep my focus on today. I also found it helpful to realize my recovery is not a straight line and when I would relapse, it was not failure and my time was not ‘lost’. I learned from all of it, grew stronger sober muscles and continued to add to my sober toolbox. All of it added up and helped me…baby steps all the way, learning and growing. You are back working on being a healthy healing whole you and that is what matters most. 
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