So I’ve relapsed recently and my care team, namely my social worker, really wants me to go to proper rehab, which I have no objections to, except I need them to wait a bit with locking me up because I owe a considerable amount of money to my dealer and I want to pay that debt off before I just up and vanish for a month. It’s a sensitive situation because they want me locked up ASAP so I’ll stop using but I need to pay that guy first so he won’t send people to harass my flatmate for money, and my flatmate doesn’t know I relapsed, or he knows and just doesn’t say anything… I spoke with my social worker on the phone today and I made it SUPER clear that I WANT to be hospitalized, I just need a little bit of time before I go in and he seemed to finally understand… I promised I won’t buy more drugs too, something that’s gonna be tricky but I’ll do my best. Anyway… Yeah, I owe my dealer money and my social worker isn’t happy about it, and I’m actively using again which he is also unhappy about but I just can’t do it on my own. Quit, I mean. I still live with my abusive ex, I don’t have a job, I don’t have a therapist, everything fucking sucks and the way I cope with it all is by using drugs. My SW gets that. He’s not mad, he said, but he is worried. I can understand that, but it’s also really hard for me to just ditch what’s been my main coping mechanism for years now, at least not completely on my own. I’m hoping that after I get discharged from rehab I’ll be able to move somewhere away from my abusive ex, if I’ll have the money for it… Yeah. Shit’s rough.
The struggle is real and daily. Oh I fucking remember. I recommend rehab now, bounce when you complete it. Your dealer can suck it cause those fucks make $ hand over fist.
Do something different and healthy for you.
Be safe and happy, it’s a real thing. Hugs
This situation is messed up. The fact that you come here for advice shows your grit and determination to fight whatever comes your way. Addiction, abusive ex, drug dealer. The way I see it, listen to your SW and look after yourself in rehab. Let your flat mate know what’s happening and just go. I understand that you want to get rid of the dealer by paying off your debt. That seems sensible. However, your good intentions may invite more relapses and further debt, keeping you in a cycle that avoids rehab. Having experienced similar myself, nothing good can come from keeping your connection to the dealer. Ditch them, go to rehab then move away if that works for you. Change contact details, block unwanted contacts. Your care team should be able to point you in the right direction to leave that life behind. Wish you well. You’ve got this!
It is exactly like that
Putting a dealer ahead of yourself seems like a pretty poor idea, hopefully you’ll reconsider.