I got in trouble at work.. long story short I wasn’t using anything while at work but failed drug and alcohol testing and recently was let go from my job. I now am in a program to regain my job basically which includes random drug and alcohol testing. If I fail anything again I have to go to inpatient rehab. I’m about to have to start virtual IOP…
I’m angry and overwhelmed. I HAVE to be sober and I wasn’t ready to start this yet honestly. I know I needed to stop certain things and slow down drinking but this is hard. And so much is on the line. I guess I need some words of encouragement/advice idk.
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Welcome.
Rough situation to be in. But if you were making moves to get to this point then you may as well start now. It wont be easy but it will get easier.
Even if you start minute by minute, then hour by hour to day by day. Some times thats what it takes to be sober for us.
Here in TS you have a wealth of knowledge and experience. Have a flick through some threads.
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Life is hardly ever what we want or what would suit us best at any given moment. It’s just what it is when it is. I agree it’s hard when we feel decisions have been made for us without us having any say in those decisions.
Having said that, a shift in perspective could be really helpful, if you can turn it round to see how this may be an opportunity to gain time, health, job, peace, freedom from your addiction, quality of life, meaningfulness… way before you would otherwise have sought these things out for yourself. Again, it may be very hard if you’re still fighting the rebellion mindset, but I’m sure you can take steps in this direction. Many things are on the line, not only your job, but also many others which are perhaps even more important.
Lean on us for support. We’re rooting for you.
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A painful truth I had to learn is I was never going to be ready to give up my addiction. I kept planning and finding various rituals to “let go”, and they all failed. I kept finding reasons that justified my addiction.
You literally got laid off of work because of your addictions. When will you be ready? What will that look like to you? I can assure you that you won’t ever “feel” ready. So, is it when you’re homeless? In the hospital after an overdose/poisoning?
Sobriety is scary, tough, and can suck at times. That’s what makes it so courageous! And the best part is, you don’t have to experience it alone. This community is incredible. Sobriety is chock full of stumbles and falls, but you eventually get it.
Don’t wait to be ready because you might find yourself in jail or the grave first.
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I was similar in that I didn’t feel like I was ready to stop yet but in my mind, when I wasn’t fucked up, I really hated what I’d become. And especially what had come to have a grip on me & my decision making.
I too was shown/pressured towards recovery by my profession and I took their suggestions because inside I really wanted to live differently and not be a slave to my addict/alcoholic mind anymore. Best decision ever. The obsession is gone, I live happy & free & I get to help others with this and so much more! You can too and all is required in the beginning is a desire to do shit differently. Glad you’re here!
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I mean this with love, but waiting to be “ready” often is an excuse we tell ourselves to avoid starting (I told myself the same - when work gets easier, when I’ve finished this batch I bought, after the holidays, etc,) I was just negotiating myself more time to continue drinking and I think you were too. So maybe it is good the start has been made for you.
There is some great advice in this thread.
What’s YOUR plan?
It is hard, but it gets easier, and you’ll find plenry of support here.
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