I hit ten days sober from cocaine yesterday, and I guess my reward pathways in my brain and my dopamine deficiency, led my brain to convince me that ‘just a couple’ will be ok.
I regretted my choice instantly. I could see very clearly the difference in myself over the past ten days, versus how I feel now, and I know which version I would prefer to be. The sober, joyful, bright and bubbly me, versus the tired, remorseful, shame and guilt ridden avatar of myself that appears when I fall off the wagon.
10 days is probably the longest I’ve been consecutively sober for about a year, if I’m honest. Most weeks I would dabble at least once and the cycle would begin again. If I can do ten days, I can do two weeks, a month and longer. Of course for now, it’s day by day.
I’ve washed anything remaining down the sink and I’m ready to pick myself up again and continue on my journey to sobriety.
Thank you for reading!
I hope you are all doing well, whatever you are battling, and if you’re not, that’s ok too, like me, you will be ok and you will try again until it sticks.
I love the hope that you’re channeling; that feeling - coupled with a plan for the next time I get a craving or find myself thinking those sneaky thoughts (“you deserve a reward!!!”) - have helped me tremendously!!
Enjoy the freedom from your DoC; your health and wellbeing thank you keep it up!!
So proud of you for picking yourself back up and listening to yourself and the reasons why you know its so much more worth it to quit. Not everything worth doing is easy. Be kind to yourself, youre doing amazing! Sending you strength
Absolutely, my slip up has made me really realise how much I don’t even enjoy partaking anymore and how damaging it is to me on all levels. Really appreciate your support and kind words.
keep it up!!
keep the positive going
