I failed, the only reason being I desperatly wanted a drink. Went into a shop to buy some essentials and ended up buying 2 bottles of red (on special offer). The rest is history, one glass equates to one bottle. I feel deflated as I couldn’t make a week. I’m going away to think on why I went wrong. I might have to get my shopping delivered, become a hermit, a nun to stop me going into a shop. Now back to day 1 and a new week again.
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It’s a learning experience. As the old expression goes, nothing changes if nothing changes:
So what are you going to change? Groups are a very significant helper - they changed the game for me & many other people here. Have you tried one? There’s a good list here:
Resources for our recovery
Take care & never give up. You’re a good person who deserves a safe, sober life.
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Nope you haven’t failed, you just learnt something about yourself.
You sound like you need to find out.
May I suggest that it’s simply the fact that this is harder than you thought?
You have the ability inside you to do this, but you need to dig deeper than you have probably ever dug before.
So , crack on, if you feel that getting your shopping delivered will help for a bit, do it.
Try not to fall into the negative, " I’ve failed" mindset. Take the positive. Learn from it.
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Thank you, as the week progressed and the weekend drew nearer, it was clearly on my mind more. I not feeling too well today so will have an early night, hopefully feel better on the morning.
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The thing to do is stay connected. Meetings, even on Zoom or just hanging around here helps to keep our minds focused on where it needs to be.
Otherwise the voice can get to us.
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Dust yourself off and get back to it my friend! You said you bought two bottles? The other bottle needs dumping out, otherwise it will be on your mind all the time!!!. I hope you have a lovely restful sleep and when you wake it’s time to reset the timer. Reading sober books worked for me early on, Allen Carr the easy way was a good book and the joy of being sober another good one. If you really want it you HAVE to work hard for it. Wishing you strength! 
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Good for you. Care for yourself, pay attention to yourself.
You know the voice is going to come back. It’s like a carousel - “hey, get back on” - but you don’t have to. Instead, come on here, read around; or join an online group:
Online meeting resources
You’re permitted to do anything safe and legal, to keep yourself sober. 
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It takes time to build habits and addictions, it takes time to build new responses too. Don’t be too hard on yourself. It is possible to do things differently, that might mean being really strict on yourself to start with. It does get easier 
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there might be a bit more to it than that, read some books on addiction , alcoholism, psychology, chemicals in your mind, spirituality, Plus your probably an alcoholic.
It’s hard to not be disappointed. But at least you came back!! My last relapse lasted uhmmm about 4 months…? 
don’t be too hard on yourself!
I agree with Nancy. Last time I relapsed it took me 2 yrs to try again. Today I’m on day 4. Take it as a learning experience. It’s a process. Hang in there.